What Tutoring Taught Me by Nicholas

What Tutoring Taught Me by Nicholas - July 2016 Scholarship Essay

My name is Nicholas Kolar and I will be entering my junior year at the University of Wisconsin–Baraboo/Sauk County. I am writing this essay seeking the additional scholarship funding needed to complete my college education. My intended vocation is a math professor or chemical engineer.

One of the greatest challenges that I have faced is discovering that I have Asperger Syndrome. I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome in my senior year of High School. This diagnosis helped me and my family understand why I'd always had behaviors and attitudes that were considered unusual.

All my life I had struggled with this condition without even knowing it. Being the kid in school that nobody understands and continuously struggling in social situations was a daily routine for me. In grade school, I was the alien on the playground, a social outlaw, a weirdo, a three-dollar bill. I constantly thought about how I felt different and how peculiar my personality was compared to the other kids. General kid business was a mystery to me. You could see it in my eyes as I trekked across the playground with nobody to talk to. While other kids were playing tag, I was busily decoding bee behavior and contemplating the mysteries of plant life.

In middle and high school, social challenges became towering obstacles that I could not even comprehend. I had zero interest in mainstream teenage behavior and social norms. I was prone to solitary intervals of deep, concentrated thoughts on obscure subjects like cosmology, linguistics, botany, and geometry. During these times I was almost entirely oblivious to simple social behavior like combing my hair and saying hello to friends. As everyone else on the school bus was laughing and talking, I was staring out the window with my mind faraway in profound imagination.

Truthfully, the Asperger Syndrome diagnosis was a blessing. Now, rather than being an outcast, I feel like a member of a strange and exclusive club of creative thinkers. I have learned to recognize and embrace the mental strengths I possess, while admitting and working to improve my social weaknesses.

During my freshman year of college, my calculus professor offered me a high compliment by recommending me to become a math tutor on campus. I was extremely honored, and astonished to discover that I might have a talent to offer and share with others. Regrettably, the proposal made me cringe with apprehension. Social anxiety has always prevented me from communicating well with others. Often the thoughts and opinions carefully crafted in my head do not translate properly as they tumble and lurch awkwardly out of my mouth. My intense dread of dialogue meant that tutoring others was never an option for me.

My first reaction was to politely decline, but then I wavered. This was a challenge and opportunity that I truly craved to conquer. My professor was understanding and reassuring. He stated that he believed my quiet demeanor and patient disposition would be well suited to the task. His support bolstered my nerves and roused my determination. His endorsement propelled me forward and inspired me to confront my fears. Without his encouragement, I would never have agreed to accept the position. I appreciate his faith and confidence in me.

I have been a math tutor for 3 years now. I have been greatly surprised at the enriching and enlightening effects it has had on my life and my personality. Tutoring is the same as teaching, and the act of passing on knowledge to another person is deeply fulfilling for me, for I believe that all people can become better educated with the help of a guide. It is extremely rewarding and inspiring for me to teach and help someone I've never met to learn something new or conquer a longtime learning challenge.

Tutoring has also helped me develop and improve my own interpersonal social skills during the one-on-one, face-to-face communicating sessions needed to help a student. I have become more secure and comfortable expressing myself. I have discovered that certain facial expressions and speaking patterns can make a huge difference in keeping students calm and open minded. Additionally, tutoring also keeps me on top of my own math skills, as I may help with a problem that I haven't tackled since high school. The unintended positive effects of tutoring have been so integral to my lifelong transformation that I have decided that I may want to be a math teacher when I graduate college. This is something I would have never guessed when I first started college.

Even though I have always known I am different, I have always worked hard at my education, knowing that someday I would have a place in this world. Through practice and honest self-evaluation, I have progressed considerably in the three years since starting college. The overall improvement has been undeniable and irreversible, with the greatest benefit being the increase in confidence that I had never experienced before. Becoming a math tutor and attending a small, community college has been a great part of this progress.

Thank you for considering me for your scholarship. I hope that I have been successful in persuading you that my further education and career goals are a worthy cause for your grant. If I am chosen, you can rest assured that this will be a secure investment in a solid person and will be appreciated for a lifetime.