The Radiant "Towelhead" by Naveen

The Radiant "Towelhead" by Naveen - November 2018 Scholarship Essay

It's true—I shower with my hijab on. I sleep with it too. Wearing this makes others feel as if the heat of the sun envelopes the bones built around my face, spreading that heat throughout my body, causing that heat to feel like a tickling sensation of unbearable agony. I don't have ears, and I don't have hair. Some even call me “towelhead”.

These ignorant accusations scrambled and latched onto my thoughts as I stared at her, the reflection that included the unseeable: the hijab. A veil that covered her head, hair, and chest. Outcast. That puny voice rang into her ears but she shook her head, refusing to let that cynical assertion sink into her thoughts. Perceptible. I felt honored because her appearance was distinct. She was one of the few visual representations of her ethnicity that is continually condemned with sinister stereotypes and absurd generalizations. That girl was me and every Muslim women in existence.

My senior yearbook quote would be: "This headscarf gifts me modesty, which gifts me freedom, making me feel more radiant than ever." Shielding my hair from the outside world is my choice which symbolizes my freedom from society's artificial definition of beauty. Hair symbolizes beauty, and by hindering that feature proves that beauty does not simply live in the eyes, but it’s what I feel in my heart. My faith is my strength, and that strength defines my true beauty. This quote not only justifies my ethnicity and what we stand for, but it justifies my character as proud and resilient which is a result of my unbreakable bond with my faith.

I started to wear the hijab when I was in eighth grade. I was excited but unaware at the time of the hatred that exists in the world and the potential darkness that exists in some people. I remember wrapping that veil around my face, that delicate Pakistani scarf was decorated with colorful polka dots tangled with a butterfly pin. That day, as I was changing in the gym room, I set down my scarf. When I returned, I found it lying in the trash and found something even more unsettling, something I could never shield my memory from. Girls in the back corner of the room calculated my stunned facial expression, snickering. At the time, I was writhing in shame, but that shame soon turned towards tenacity because I didn’t stop wearing my hijab. They thought they threw away my dignity away, but my faith only became stronger as that tenacity then molded into determination. Determination in proving that I am proud of my belief(s) and the emerging confidence that I am beautiful in the eyes of God.

It’s often judged that the hijab is a symbol of oppression, but I view it as a symbol of freedom. In my spiritual journey towards justification, I venture to educate the world by cradling my beliefs and implementing them to be the pure character my religion initially sets its believers out to be. In order to bring justice to my religion, it’s essential to omit the stereotypes that degrades our character by initiating my life goal which is to spread and attract respect towards my ethnicity. In order to do so, I plan to display myself as a pure character that others could perceive as a role model. There’s already progress giving birth to this new movement called acceptance. For the first time in our nation's history, two Muslim women got elected into Congress. As I grow up, I begin to witness the world around me growing up as well; I experience the greatest treasure of all, respect. It’s truly moving to say that perceptions are beginning to change and ignorance may start its process to gradually decline with continuing this trend of respect and acceptance.

My senior quote serves as a prologue of the motivation, dedication, and determination I hold as my semblance transforming me from a Muslim girl to a Muslim woman. With the scars and clamatity of ill thoughts sought by others represented as obstacles, the strength in my faith and pride in my ethnicity never swayed. Modesty creates this surge of power that lives in my heart and flows through my veins. I wear the hijab in order to preserve my dignity, my modesty, and my integrity. I am determined to not only prove to myself that I am a strong Muslim women whose belief will never shatter, but to prove to others that Muslim women are to be respected as well: they are not weak and helpless as the media paints them. So to those that call me “towelhead”, I am honored.