A Piece of Advice to My Past Self by Natalie

A Piece of Advice to My Past Self by Natalie - September 2022 Scholarship Essay

Growing up and looking back at your past self is such a weird feeling. Seeing where you came from really puts things into perspective especially when the struggle to get to where you are now was a harsh one. I’m a huge believer in learning from your mistakes.
A major piece of advice that I would give to my past self is that you only live once. I chose this piece of advice for many reasons. One major reason being that I struggle with Major Anxiety Disorder (MAD) which has caused me a lot of trouble in the past. Doing simple tasks as easy as leaving the house to go to the grocery store would absolutely stress me out to the max. This caused me much stress and made it extremely difficult for me to get out and make friends or socialize.
Another example of why I would tell my past self “You only live once” is because my sophomore year of high school was when we had the option of doing online school or face to face. Of course, I chose to do online school which played a huge factor in worsening my anxiety and making everything that much more difficult to do. Doing online school caused me to miss out on socializing and making new friends which is extremely important to do while growing up and being in high school. I didn’t get to experience any of the school assembly’s or fun activities because I wouldn’t allow myself to go out. Which, looking back now I wish so badly that I could tell myself to get up and put myself out there.
Though I would tell my past self you only live once and to put myself out there, there is one positive that happened from staying isolated and not going out. I got to stay home and spend time with my mom who was slowly dying of cancer that I had no clue about. Looking back, I am most fortunate that I had this bad of anxiety so that I could stay home and spend time with her because at the time, none of my family or my mom’s friends knew that she was battling cancer. I’m most fortunate that I could stay home instead of going out and doing things that weren’t so important.
Looking back at my past self-there’s many things that I wish I had done different. Although it’s too late now I’m glad that I went through those hard struggles to get me where I am today. So, I thank my past self for helping me learn from my mistakes and guide me to a better future. There’s so much advice that I would give to my past self but “you only live once” is the most important to me.