You Never Know How Strong You Are, Until Being Strong Is Your Only Choice by Monet

You Never Know How Strong You Are, Until Being Strong Is Your Only Choice by Monet - May 2022 Scholarship Essay

“It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life’s story will develop.”-Dieter F. Uchtdorf. This quote has been instilled in me since I had to deal with one of the hardest days of my life.
Throughout my childhood, I never really experienced family loss. I lost my Great Grandmother to cancer when I was only 6 years old, and luckily for me it became a repressed memory that I was able to combat. Following her death, family loss for me was something I luckily didn’t have to experience and if it did occur, it was extensive family members that I didn’t know all too well so the sadness was conquerable. I grew up surrounded by close friends who had to endure tough family losses but of course for me I thought I was invincible and wouldn’t have to experience the weight of death until I was older. Little did I know, ‘older’ was twenty year old me now, dealing with family loss and one of the hardest challenges I have had to overcome.
My Uncle, Frederick Blue, was a father figure for me as I grew up with only a single mother caring for her 3 children. My uncle loved me enough to fill in the love I often felt that I missed out on from my father and I spent almost my entire childhood by his side. Uncle Freddy never missed a game, a holiday, a concert, a birthday, nothing. He showed up for me physically, and never would I have imagined that he would now only be here for me spiritually. On March 2nd, 2022 I received the dreadful phone call no one should have to be woken up.
“He didn’t make it.” These words didn’t seem to register. I was in absolute denial. Uncle Freddy had survived a double lung transplant in 2014, I thought he was indestructible. I thought he would bounce back like he always did, I thought he was just undergoing a regular scheduled dialysis the night before. To all of our surprise, he underwent complications and had a heart attack leading to his unexpected death. My heart sank to my stomach and I felt like my world stopped turning. I was just planning to go see him for spring break, but there I was all alone, isolated from my family in my college dorm away from home, begging for answers. I just remember thinking, how can I move on without one of my biggest supporters?
As much as I wanted to give up on everything and be sorry for myself, I couldn’t allow myself to fall behind in school and I knew I had to be strong for myself, and even stronger for my guardian angel. My Uncle would’ve wanted me to be resilient and continue to do the things I was committed to, and I had to do just that. I had to continue my education no matter how hard it was to get out of bed and go to class with eyes heavy from crying, go to rugby so I didn’t let my teammates down, and I had to keep up with my employment to be able to afford my spring semester. Dealing with the loss of my uncle is a pain I would never wish on my worst enemy, and the skill that helped me overcome this adversity the most was my determination to make my Uncle proud. I could’ve easily given up on everything but without my determination, I would’ve allowed my sadness and helplessness to overcome my true self and goals.