Overcoming a Challenge Through Adjusting my Mindset by Melissa

Overcoming a Challenge Through Adjusting my Mindset by Melissa - April 2019 Scholarship Essay

During my junior year of college my Intermediate Writing professor took me aside after I turned in an essay; she told me I would always struggle with communication because I thought differently. Writing had always been my strength in school-or so I thought-and her words ignited a new academic insecurity for me. When she told me “I would always struggle with communication” my mind hyper-focused on the word “always”. To me, “always” meant I could not change and so it was pointless to try. In hindsight now, I realize this mindset was a greater contributor to my repeated failures than my actual skill level in writing. As I progressed through my education, I had to learn to view my struggle with writing not as a deficiency I was incapable of overcoming but instead as a challenge I’d rise up to and conquer.

Adjusting my mindset did not happen overnight. I struggled with writing for years until finally after a trend of poor grades I knew I needed to adjust my negative attitude. I resolved to view my professor's comment through a different lens. I told myself, yes, I may always struggle with communication but struggling is good- It will make me appreciate successes more. Next, I determined my communication was lacking due to an undeveloped voice and poor planning. I would ensure my writing success by addressing these problem areas before sitting down to write. It would take some mental re-wiring on my part, which felt daunting, but I knew I had to make it happen to improve my writing.

Learning how to plan my papers effectively was my first hurdle. I found I needed to have a clear road map for my papers to keep my wandering thoughts at bay. I developed a process of brainstorming and outlining that worked for me. First, I made a brainstorm page to help me determine what I wanted to write about. Next, I made an outline for my whole paper and wrote out my first paragraph and thesis statement. Having this “skeleton” of what my paper would become before beginning to write helped me stay on track.

While planning took greater discipline than I was used to, discovering my voice proved most difficult. I always assumed my voice was automatically in my writing if I was writing it. This is not so. I realized the problem with my current voice was that I was writing for myself. I needed to start writing to express ideas effectively to others. I was like someone who enjoys hearing themselves talk and what I wanted to be was someone who captivated others to listen. I had no idea how to do this. Growing up as an only child, I spent so much time alone I developed a rich imagination and creative outlook but as a trade-off I struggled to communicate with others. With this self-awareness, I knew no amount of soul searching or meditation would help me find my voice. The answer was not inside me; it had to be outside.

In my desperation, searching for some kind of insight on how to develop my voice, I resorted to an activity I had always viewed as a waste of time in college. I began reading for pleasure specifically The New Yorker. When I was a teenager, sometimes I would pick up The New Yorker magazine my parents subscribed to. I would mostly read the magazine for the cartoons and avoid the stories. Remembering The New Yorker sparked curiosity in me as I thought about what stories I’d left undiscovered so I started reading New Yorker articles online and fell in love with it. I began making time to read and enjoyed getting carried away in the stories I read. I read the fiction, non- fiction, and poetry pieces to get a feel for different voices. I realized all the writers had an energy and excitement to their writing that I lacked. I determined I needed to dedicate more time to writing, researching, and brainstorming to emulate what I admired in the writing of The New Yorker.

Now, I enjoy researching and spend much more time reading about what I want to write about. Since critically evaluating my communication and changing the way I write I have seen promising results. I now get better grades on my papers. Also, at my job as an office manager I dictate all mass communications to our customers. I suppose my professor was right about me always struggling though because communicating clearly is still truly difficult. However, I was wrong many years ago when I deemed it impossible and pointless for me to try. I realize now, my struggle colors my writing and voice. I now view every new piece of writing as a welcome challenge. I may fail or I may succeed but guaranteed I will struggle, which in and of itself is a gift, because each new struggle with writing will help me grow.