If I Could Give One Piece of Advice to My Past Self by Meilani

If I Could Give One Piece of Advice to My Past Self by Meilani - July 2025 Scholarship Essay

If I could go back and give one piece of advice to my past self, I don’t think I’d start with words at all. I don’t think she needed advice, at least not right away. What she needed was someone to just be there.

She was the kind of girl who smiled in the hallways but felt invisible inside. She was the kind of girl who carried the weight of “being fine” when really, she was scared that no one would ever understand her, or worse, that no one ever really saw her at all. She was the kind of girl that stayed quiet after trying to be heard countless times but was shut down again and again. After losing so many people she loved, she felt like giving up was the only option left. She was on the verge of surrendering to the silence, to the loneliness that felt endless.

If I could sit beside her now, I wouldn’t rush into talking. First, we’d just sit in the quiet, not the heavy kind, but the kind where it’s safe to simply exist. I’d turn on one of our favorite movies or shows, the kind that always made us feel a little less alone, and we’d watch for a while. Maybe we’d snack on our favorite chips or candy, just something familiar and comforting.

And then, maybe when the silence felt a little lighter, I’d say something small, and she’d laugh. Not because it was at all funny, but because she always laughed in uncomfortable situations. That little laugh of hers, part awkward, part genuine, would remind me she’s still in there. Still trying. Still hoping.

I wouldn’t tell her that everything gets better, because honestly, sometimes it doesn’t. Life still gets messy. People still leave. There are still nights that feel too heavy and mornings that feel too hard. But I’d remind her that not everything has to be fixed to be okay.

I’d remind her she doesn’t have to be perfect. That piling on more and more work or distractions won’t make reality go away, even though she already knows that deep down. Still, sometimes it helps to hear it again. Slowing down doesn’t mean giving up. Facing what feels hard is the first step to making it a little easier.

Eventually, I’d whisper the words I know she needed to hear: “You’re doing great. You’re doing enough. And more than anything… you are enough.”

I’d remind her that she doesn’t have to be liked by everyone to matter. That being herself, even when it’s hard, even when it feels lonely, is still the most courageous thing she can do. And that even on the days when she feels like no one sees her, I do.

Maybe that’s the real advice. You don’t always need to have the answers. Sometimes you just need to stay. To be the person for yourself that you always wished someone else would be for you.