How negativity effect us by Marquise

How negativity effect us by Marquise - February 2025 Scholarship Essay

Most people care alot about what others think of them, I was the same way. I used to care a lot about what people had to say whether it was about my eyelashes, my hair, the way I dressed, smelled, acted. I envied the people around me that dressed how they wanted, acted how they wanted, because I could never do that. I envied them so much that I tried to be like them. I changed my style, I changed the way I acted, but even after all the changes I made, people just found a new thing to talk about. It went from me not knowing how to dress, or that I was too nice, to being asked questions about my sexuality. As a kid it was honestly so confusing to me as to why people cared so much. As I aged I realized that no matter what you change or add to or about yourself people are always going to find a way to bring you down. It is not necessarily that I stopped caring, it is that I stopped giving into what people said about me.
Even though I changed my mindset, the constant hate caused problems with my mental state that I have worked hard to overcome. An example I can give of this is a recent piano recital I had in which I messed up some notes. This affected me so terribly that I almost wanted to give up on piano entirely. Luckily I had teachers in my corner that encouraged me to not give up and that the mistake I made was not a major one. I also had friends who witnessed the performance that said that they did not even know that I messed up. It was not that I thought I was bad at playing the piano, it was the thought that others thought I was bad at playing the piano that made me want to give up something that I loved doing. The same almost happened with singing. I love to sing. I feel as if singing brings joy to people that other hobbies and talents simply can not. When I was a kid my brother would constantly tell me that I could not sing and that I sounded terrible. It got to the point where I started to believe him and gave up singing in the 9th and 10th grade. It took my piano teacher who had never heard me sing to get me to try singing again and to him I am forever grateful.
As humans we must realize that unless the things somebody is doing is harmful to themselves or others it is not our place to judge. Commenting on someone's style or appearance, the way they act, things they do, sexuality or race can be really harmful to a person’s self esteem. And once somebody’s self esteem drops it is so much harder for them to overcome or for someone to bring them back up from that deep dark pit of despair. I am lucky to have people around me now who encourage me to be my best self without judging me, but everybody is not that lucky. We must be mindful of the things we say and the way we say them. We never know how something as small as words can affect somebody's self worth.