Forgetting my Native Language by Marian

Forgetting my Native Language by Marian - July 2023 Scholarship Essay

Although my parents encouraged me to pursue postsecondary education, neither had ever completed high school or some form of college. My father spent most of my childhood finding full-time positions in construction, part-time jobs at restaurants, and occasional gigs at landscaping companies. In a similar fashion, my mother worked through all three of her pregnancies until my younger brother was born. For this reason, my mother felt it was necessary to start our academic journeys early. It served as a form of daycare, and we got the added benefit of learning. Even during summer breaks, she ensured we attended school.

My family decided to relocate to New York State when I was finishing up first grade. Because I had spent the majority of my six-year-old life in Spanish-speaking programs, I only knew a few English phrases. Consequently, my new school enrolled me in a course that helped students increase their English proficiency and comprehension. I would bring home worksheets, but since my parents only spoke Spanish, they had trouble understanding the assignments. I struggled to make friends that year because I arrived late and faced a language barrier with most students. Due to this, I started to resent Spanish and would dedicate more time to consuming English literature, videos, and movies.

My mom was concerned that I had started to lose my native tongue, so she decided I would take Spanish as a foreign language in middle school. While many of these classes were history-based, writing and grammar were also part of the curriculum. I did well; however, when I stepped into Spanish 2 in high school, I discovered I was completely unprepared. I recall reading “El Alquimista” and being unable to keep up with other students. I regretted not putting effort into learning conjunction rules, memorizing where to place diacritics, or knowing when to use imperfect tenses.

Not speaking fluent Spanish presented many challenges. Before moving back to Mexico to seek medical treatment for her sight, my grandmother lived with us for three years. While it was difficult for both of us to communicate because of my limited vocabulary, I loved knowing that even the simplest things made a difference in her and my life, from heading out on light walks each weekend morning to setting up fresh, clean sheets. As a college student, my grandmother has inspired me to study Spanish while pursuing a career in Geriatric Care. I want to be sure that when I interact with patients, I can talk to them in their native language.

I understand the shame of someone coming up for directions and trying to speak back with your limited Spanish tongue, the embarrassment of communicating with your grandmother through translation apps, and the constant use of “qué dijiste?” and “no te entiendo” because your mother does not get your Spanglish terms. While my failure to commit to my Spanish education has hindered part of my medical dream, I hope my dedication to actively studying and speaking the language with people around me will help me overcome this.