Advice to my Past Self by Makayla

Advice to my Past Self by Makayla - September 2022 Scholarship Essay

As people grow they tend to learn from past mistakes and use them as tools for improvement in their lives. If given the opportunity to use the gained knowledge in order to change decisions made in the past, many would happily counsel their formal selves in order to guarantee a successful future. If I had the chance to offer my formal self a piece of advice derived from my experiences, I would say, “The world is an unpredictable place with many opportunities waiting around each corner; however, if you do not have the courage to take advantage of each and every moment, you will easily miss amazing opportunities which will cause great regret.”
Some things are expected and some are unexpected. Given the expected things, you need to deal with them and not bottle the feelings and emotions inside. You have to come to your senses and realize that thing is happening and you can not do a thing differently. Putting the emotion on yourself that there was more you could have done, is lying to yourself. Those expected things are going to hurt your heart more than you think or realize.
Now the unexpected things, are easier to heal from. They do not put that sudden brokenness and emptiness on your life and heart as expected. All of this pain is pushing you forward and fighting it, pushes you backward. The pain is preparing you for something much greater and possibly better. Along the way, you just have to keep your faith and stay on the bumpy road. The bumpy road is like gravel that turns into the pavement that is full of opportunities.
Losing someone can be life-changing and some are going to move on while others will not. Seeing a family who once was so close to one another go at each other over a loss is mortifying. The glue of the family passes and then the family falls down like ashes. The death was expected due to the restless nights spent at the hospital waiting on the last breaths. You want that person to be out of pain and it hurts you so emotionally that you do not even know until later.
There are nights, even days, I wish I would have done more with her. I should have taken the time to see her more or go on more adventures with her. You have to get back up and keep going. It is going to take family coming together, courage, and empathy. You have to realize it is not just about you but your father and aunts who lost their mother. You have to have the courage to know there are opportunities out in the world to do things you love with your loved ones before it is too late.
The piece of advice I have chosen to give to my past self reflects the death of my late grandma. Her death was expected due to her battle with cancer and her choosing to not fight it. There were many nights spent in the hospital where I wanted her to stop feeling pain but other nights I was not ready for her to pass because I felt there was just still too much left to do with her. It was the waiting that made it so much harder to get back on your feet and move on. I wish I would have said yes one more time to going to lunch with her or yes to one more little adventure around town. I would have liked my past self to enjoy the time and use all opportunities to do things with her.
Death is a part of the world and the world is going to keep going even if you lose that loved one. It took time but recently I have learned that the world is going to keep going and you do not want to be behind. Things are going to happen and you have to be ready for that gravel. At the end of the gravel comes pavement because you kept your faith and kept going. If you do not take advantage of the opportunities while you have them, it will be too late. What is one piece of advice you would give to your past self?