My Journey to Accepting Myself by Madisyn

My Journey to Accepting Myself by Madisyn - November 2018 Scholarship Essay

My senior yearbook quote would without a doubt be, “If you live for people’s acceptance, you will die from their rejection”, which was said by Lecrae Moore. This has been my personal motto throughout most of my teenage life, because it is a concept I often struggle with. During middle school I was constantly worried about what I looked like, sounded like and how I was being perceived by others. Pleasing others and being likable became my only goal in life and it was exhausting. Every time I was around others, I was so focused on how I portrayed myself, I had no time to breath and enjoy the people I was spending time with. Ensuring that I was perceived as perfect and put together constantly consumed my thoughts and actions.
During this time of my life, my sole purpose for living was to gain the acceptance of others. Needless to say, I failed. I could not gain everyone's acceptance and approval and I was miserable; I was dying from the rejection of those around me. I felt hopeless and like I would never measure up to the expectations I had put on myself. So in the beginning of eighth grade, I made a life altering and terrifying decision. I decided to be myself, my 100% authentic self. I no longer wanted to worry about what others thought of me because I knew it wouldn’t always be good. I decided to start living for myself instead of for others and it was not easy.
I lost several friends and at first I was still miserable. At some point during this time of my life, I came across this quote from Lecrae and it spoke to me. It became my personal motto. Whenever I was around someone who made me want to change part of who I am, I thought about this quote and I reminded myself that my approval is the only one I needed so I should be myself. Over time I began to form real friendships that have lasted to this day. I gained friends who were true to themselves and encouraged me to be so as well. I was no longer miserable, but full of joy and laughter. I became the happiest and best version of myself to date.
Choosing to be myself is a decision I have to make every single day of my life. It is not always an easy or convenient choice, but it is always the best one. This quote is still my personal motto and it reminds me of how far I have come. This quote used to be an accurate representation of my life. I was living for other people’s acceptance and I was dying in their rejection. Now, this quote is a reminder of the life I left behind. It is motivation to choose joy and to be myself, without worrying what others think of me. Today I choose not to live for others, but for myself. By not striving other’s acceptance and approval, I cannot die or be discouraged in the face of their rejection, but instead I smile and remind myself that I like who I am and that is all that matters.