A Wake Up Call To An Internal Action by Madelynn

A Wake Up Call To An Internal Action by Madelynn - September 2016 Scholarship Essay

As the loud buzz of the alarm clock rang, I realized that I was only one short hour away from entering my last year of schooling. Of course dreams of college were ahead but those dreams still felt quite distant and unknown like looking down a long road on a foggy day and not being able to see beyond your own fingertips to what lies ahead. Senior year and all that it represents was about to begin! A flood of emotions surged through my body as I went through the normal morning routines set in my mind habitually from the last eleven years. I was keenly aware that this year was different already before I even stepped out of my bed. That alarm symbolized so much to me. It represented countless new exciting beginnings but also the buzzing reminder that comforting familiarities in my life were slowly coming to an end. It was like the timer of my childhood somehow reached a turning point and I wasn’t quite ready to enter into the next stage. I could already feel how my expectations for myself and for others were different before I even began this senior year morning. I dressed in a way to communicate to the world that my confidence was high. Yet I was quite aware that my internal confidence did not match my external appearance. This was only three weeks ago.

When asked for one action I would choose to reach success this school year, my mind is drawn the skills I have already learned. Although I have a lot of room for improvements, I have gained abilities in how to be organized, reach for my highest academic goals, and accept my mistakes with grace and turn them into learning opportunities. I have learned to stretch myself and work hard in order to reach my highest potentials. I owe a huge amount of thanks and gratitude to the countless educators and loving adults in my life that have guided me through these years and taught me these keys to success. All this to say, when I think about the question you pose about the “most important action” I could take to be successful this particular school year, I’m not drawn towards additional external goal achievements or behavioral “self-help” skills. Instead, I feel pulled to take an internal action step that develops the centering of my heart during so much change that this year will bring. The most important action I will do to reach success in this school year is to briefly pause every morning in quietness to be thankful for my life and to train my heart and mind to not be anxious.

I have realized in my eleven years of schooling thus far that I have been well trained to reach success by academic strategies. I also see that by playing sports for thirteen years I have learned the value of hard work and endurance. I personally thrive on structure and organization and have learned how perfecting these skills can aid my success in life tasks. All these abilities and others are extremely valuable but I have come to believe that the ability to persevere and use these skills comes from my core internal motivations. Much like an engine generates a car to run so does my internal values and beliefs generate me to keep on reaching for my goals. Therefore, I finally realized that my “internal engine,” so to speak, must receive equal if not more attention as my outward behaviors receive in order to reach ultimate success.

I have found that pausing every morning to focus on strength and truth is the key to keeping my internal engine going. During this time every morning I stop and align myself to not worry about the chaos that so often comes in life especially in senior year. This time allows me to see the pressures of life clearly and not get overwhelmed by them. I find this pause gives me a place to recharge and reenergize myself.

I know I will experience a lot of “alarm clocks” buzzing this school year indicating that the time has come to take exams, apply for colleges, run my last cross country meet, or even to be enchanted at prom. Through all of these demands I hope to keep diligent in my action to pause in quietness every morning so that I am internally ready with true confidence for whatever awaits for me beyond the alarm clock’s sounding.