Hope by Macie

Hope by Macie - January 2018 Scholarship Essay

When I looked at this prompt, I immediately knew what I was going to write about. I have three reasons why I wish to attend college and and why I want to choose the word HOPE. One reason is because I want to be a Physician's Assistant. Second, I want to change how people feel about themselves when they come to see me. Finally, I want to give them HOPE throughout their whole journey with whatever sickness or illness they may have. I will try my hardest to make sure every single person I work with feels like they have HOPE in this world because I’ve been in situations before where I didn’t think that there was any HOPE at all. I’d like to share my story with you.
The reason behind my career choice is very personal for me. I became sick in 4th grade. On three different occasions over the course of two months I had to visit the ER because I seemed to space out in class. I had bloodwork, MRI, and CT scans done. All the tests came back normal and my parents weren’t ever given a diagnosis. This wasn’t normal behavior for me and they knew something wasn’t right.
My mom really felt that something wasn’t right so she called my uncle who suffers from seizures. He told her it sounded like that’s what was happening. He also told her that if it was, then it would happen again and it would be worse. This was scary to her, but she said later that it also prepared her. When it occurred the third time, it was worse. I couldn’t remember what 2+2 was. I turned to page 49 when my teacher said page 163. I couldn’t remember my name or the month, and my eyes weren’t responding correctly. My parents headed to the ER again with me. This time they were told I was high and that I must have taken something from the medicine cabinet. My parents weren’t happy with my pediatrician saying this, but consented to drug and alcohol tests anyway. Both came back negative and the ER tried to say again that they didn’t know. At that point, my dad stepped in. He told them that they needed to call someone who could help, or he would take me to Atlanta where he knew an answer would be found. At that point, things begin to happen. A nearby neurologist was contacted who called Scottish Rite with my symptoms and they immediately agreed to see me. The following morning, they sent an ambulance for me. I remember the lights in the ambulance and someone standing over me in the ambulance telling me it was going to be ok. I also remember being very scared. Within 2 hours of being admitted into Scottish Rite, a neurologist performed an EEG and I was diagnosed with epilepsy with absence seizures.
What’s amazing to me is that I don’t remember many things about myself, but I remember the children I saw in the hospital. As scared and as bad as I felt, I didn’t think my sickness was as bad as the little ones I saw. I remember one little girl in particular. She was maybe two years old and had cancer. She was walking ahead of me pulling her IV fluid pump beside her while I was being wheeled in a wheelchair. I remember looking at my mom trying not to cry and saying, “Mom, she is too young to be that sick.” I wanted to help her, but I couldn’t even help myself at that time. From that point on, I knew I wanted to help children one day and give them HOPE.
My decision was further influenced by my very own Physician's Assistant, Mrs. Kelley. After my diagnosis with epilepsy, she was there every step of the way. We share a bond that I could only have had with her because of my diagnosis. She gave me HOPE that I could be epilepsy free one day. If I can give that same HOPE to a child, then I know that I’ve done what I was meant to do.
My form of epilepsy caused 10-15 second staring episodes and when I came out of them I had no memory of what happened during that time. It’s treatable and usually only lasts through adolescence. I was cleared of epilepsy after seven years in December 2016. That was the good part. The bad part was that each seizure I had caused gaps in my memory which caused me to have a lot of difficulty with school work. My parents asked how this would affect me in school. A doctor told them that I might not graduate from high school, much less attend college. That statement took their breath away. But they believed in me and gave me HOPE that I could achieve anything. School has been a struggle for me at times, but I’ve worked hard and I’m about to prove that doctor wrong.
My HOPE is that I can use my past experiences with an illness and the struggles I often faced to give others HOPE. I know how it feels to face something and not ever know when the end to it will come. By attending college and becoming a Physician’s Assistant, I know I can reach out to many and give them HOPE.