What are you Risking? by Lorne

What are you Risking? by Lorne - July 2016 Scholarship Essay

One day in October of 2014, I sat in my Calculus 1 class hoping to avoid being called up to the board. My professor, Mr. John Nadig, was offering points that would be added to student’s final grades if we volunteered to simply attempt a complicated question on the board. No one volunteered and Mr. Nadig asked, “what are you risking?” This question has changed my life. Naturally, I am a thoughtful, introverted individual who needs more time than others to learn, process and communicate information. I also happen to have Autism Spectrum Disorder. I’d learned throughout the course of my life that my natural approach to learning is “wrong” and developed a defense mechanism called perfectionism. In middle school, high school and college, I would not draw attention to myself in academic and/or work related situations unless I’d practiced what I would say or do extensively. After Mr. Nadig posed his question that day in October of 2014, I took my first risk by attempting the calculus question on the board. I also started my process of ridding of myself of my perfectionism.

From October of 2014 until now, I’ve experienced tough times in my life. Mr. Nadig’s question caused me to introspect, recognize my flaws and to reduce my anxiety levels. I’ve also used Mr. Nadig’s question as motivation to get out and try new things. I’ve participated verbally in my courses, I’ve taken risks such as applying to the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania and I’ve been aggressive in my quest to find relevant experience in my field. I am in the process of removing myself from my home and starting my own life. My parents always protected me and I never tried to overcome my social limitations (which were only in my head) until that day in October of 2014. Through reflection, I’ve come to realize that Autism is a gift and that I should take chances so that I’ll be able to live a full and meaningful life.

What are you risking? This simple question has helped me tremendously. I realize that a condition does not define me and that I am capable of surviving on my own. Before that day in October of 2014, my philosophy was that one needed to find meaning within, create and pursue their own personal goals so that he/she will have a chance at true happiness. Mr. Nadig, through his question, helped me to go from having that particular belief system and not acting on it to actively pursuing my own happiness. My new mindset and personality, I believe, will help me as I begin the next chapter of my life, which is graduate school. From my research, I’ve learned that graduate school presents students with many opportunities and that no one will hold your hand. I truly believe that I am ready for graduate school and I thank Mr. Nadig for challenging me. In the upcoming years, I look forward to succeeding and continuing to grow.