The Separation by Lily

The Separation by Lily - April 2021 Scholarship Essay

The Separation
During my eighth grade year my parents had begun the process in which they would get divorced. They would always fight with each other, whether or not my siblings and I are at home or at school. The worst fight that they ever had was on December 31st, 2016. I had heard yelling coming from their room, while my sister and I were in the living room watching the New Year’s Eve ball drop on TV like we did every year. Being the big sister I went to go investigate, but before I got to the room, my mom came out and yelled at Haley and I saying that we needed to go to bed instead of watching the ball drop at midnight. The two of us ended up hiding in the living room instead of going to bed, because we were promised we could watch it. After a few weeks of not seeing my mom, my dad had picked us up from school and said that she was staying with my aunt and that we were going to start staying there every other week.
At the beginning of the divorce my siblings and I were thrown in the middle of their drama which ended up ruining the relationship I had between both my mother and my father. This lasted for a few months before we finally decided that we were not going to put up with the bickering that was going on. After a while of us ignoring the bad things that were said about one parent, my aunt had stepped in and tried to get my sister and I to be on my mom’s “side” of the whole thing. She did this because we were the only two that understood what was going on. Every week we were told to pick where we wanted to live as soon as we sat down for dinner at my mom’s. Eventually I just ignored the conversation, sometimes I would get in trouble for not listening to the adults but what it really did for me was make it so I was not constantly thinking about where I should live.
The 28th of January in 2017 is the date that both my mom and my dad had signed the papers to complete the divorce process. On that day we were with my mom and everyone’s mood was different, the adults seemed frustrated, my brother and sister were quiet, I was quiet, and my cousins seemed stressed out. This kind of mood lasted for about four days, which is about how long it took the judge to sign the divorce papers. On Wednesday February 1st, 2017 the judge had finally signed the papers completing the process. After the divorce of my parents completely stopped talking to each other for about three weeks straight. This made planning things difficult but it was manageable. Throughout the divorce process, the relationships I had with each parent slowly fell apart.
What this experience taught me was that I need to appreciate what I have before it is gone. Over the past two years I have spent time rebuilding the relationships I once had with my parents. There have been times where they still don’t get along but are trying to work through it so it is not super stressful for my siblings and I. This experience has helped me grow in many ways and even though it was very hard, I am grateful for what it has taught me, and how I have grown since 2016.