"Wise" Advice by Lillian

"Wise" Advice by Lillian - September 2013 Scholarship Essay

Being stabbed by an enemy is pain that can be expected, but being wounded by a friend leaves long lasting scars. 
Elementary school is a time when kids are venturing out and testing different situations, starting to explore their world on their own as the "big kids" that they once looked up to when they were in Kindergarten. When I was in third grade, I started to understand the meaning of the phrase "being left out" more than ever before.  In my naivety,  I assumed girls that I hung out with were my truest friends…but then they starting gossiping with each other, walking side by side along the sidewalk that only had room to comfortably accommodate the width of two third grade girls, while I meandered in front or behind. Soon this situation moved to the playground--and things got serious. 
Running though the mulch, past the structures we deemed castles, I searched for my friends. After I approached the girls and was told that they wanted to be by themselves, I stopped being so sure in the friends I had agonized over pleasing by purchasing the (at the time) popular girl's brand name notebooks, pencil cases, and folders, which also had a matching diary set. Was it worth it? To continue to try to force a friendship that I was an expendable part of? My third grade self thought it was the most important thing in the world.
However, one teacher, Mrs. Wise, who was as influential, inspiring, and as intelligent as her name implies, shared some encouraging advice with me. Whether she could see that my cheeks were stained with tears or watched the events unfold, she was always trying to encourage me from day to day. She told me how her daughter had gone through a similar situation that I was going through, and how I should consider befriending some of the students who weren't in those "exclusive cliques"--that I should find a friendship that would be mutually beneficial and not one-sided. I wish I would have heeded her advice at the time. 
Now, almost eight years later, I fully understand just what Mrs. Wise meant. Friendships shouldn't be about whether or not you buy designer notebooks, shoes, dresses, or backpacks. It shouldn't be about stabbing someone in the back with fruitless gossip just to "return the favor." To have a friend, you have to be one. Was I a perfect friend at the time? No, I'm sure I wasn't. When I was a child, I thought and acted like a child. Am I perfect now? I'll be the first to  assure you that I'm not. My no longer pre-tween classmates may be taller and taking AP classes, but that doesn't mean that they don't form cliques like they did in third grade. However, I still strive to remember Mrs. Wise's advice when dealing with situations. No, I'm no longer in third grade, but her advice still applies to 12th greade. 
Mrs. Wise inspired me in more ways then one.  In 2005, she gave me the writer's award in "recognition of outstanding performance in creative writing." Now, my love for writing has blossomed. The story I wrote about receiving a box full of yapping puppies was a springboard, and now I write for a reputa·ble newspaper that's publshed weekly. In 2005, I started enjoying studying the American Civil War. Now, I've read countless books about the subject, have written fictional stories and research papers on the Civil War, Abraham Lincoln, and John Wilkes Booth, and would love to intern at Ford's Theatre in Washington DC one day. In 2005, I was teased for my love of superheroes and Sci-Fi. Now, I have my own sci-fi blog and I've been able to interact with more girls who aren't ashamed to call themselves geek chic. 2005, my third grade year, may have seemed like a year where I was left out of cliques and teased for things that I loved, but now, so many years later, I'm able to apply the advice my teacher gave me to everyday life, and I'm proud of what I've accomplished. Mrs. Wise is one of many inspiring academic role-models who has encouraged me to succeed in school and in life. Although third grade may not have been easy for me at the time, I wouldn't change anything about it. I owe many thanks to Mrs. Wise for her words of wisdom and encouragement.