So What? by Leilani

So What? by Leilani - November 2018 Scholarship Essay

“In the middle of the road, in the moment you want to give up,
Shout out even louder:
So what?”

So what if I fail? So what if the path ahead is not how I imagined? So what if I struggle? With lyrics that tell you to let go of the doubt and fears of decisions and those same doubts and fears that come with choosing your destination, BTS' lyrics in "So What" would be my senior quote. In life, only the what if questions are asked. What if I fail? What if it's not how imagined? What if I struggle? These fears seem legit in the beginning but you need to tell yourself so what. So what to those worries. In life, the moments that we have now never last forever, why waste a moment with doubts on yourself and what you're capable of. I see those what if questions as insecurities. Insecurities that I used to always have. Throughout my life I have been afraid of everything. I was afraid to live. I asked those what if questions every moment of every waking day. What if I fall? What if they laugh? What if I don't get accepted? Nearly 17 years of my life was wasted on these what if questions. In 2013, I was introduced to K-pop. K-pop is a genre of music that is often subjected to much laughter, but to me it was more then a genre or a form of music. It brought me life. While there have been many K-pop groups that have resonated with me, BTS and their lyrics have always been those that I look to no matter the situation. On August 24th, 2018 BTS released the album Love Yourself: Tear. An album that highlights the pain and struggles of loving and accepting yourself. Out of all these songs, So what stood out to me. Those What if questions that I always asked myself found their answer. The song held lyrics that told you not to worry, to let go of those doubts, and if met with those what if questions again say so what. "In the middle of the read, in the moment you want to give up," in that moment when the clouds turn grey and you are faced with that what if question, in that moment when your insecurities catch up to you and try to hush you, try to bring you down, say so what. So what?