A Change Will Come by Lauren

A Change Will Come by Lauren - January 2023 Scholarship Essay

My paternal grandfather and his siblings were abandoned by their parents to live in the woods for three years before he was fifteen. My grandfather raised his children on the south side of Chicago and wanted them to have the life he didn’t have by giving my dad as much money as he wanted when he wanted it. His lack of financial education ultimately led to my parent’s divorce when I was six years old.

I often heard my mother and father say negative things about each other while pretending I didn’t hear it. Instinctively, I tried to suppress feelings of frustration and disappointment, but I couldn’t. This led me to find coping behaviors to medicate the pain such as binge eating and becoming a people pleaser to keep the peace at home. Eventually, my body didn’t know how to handle the stress of the separation. Almost a year later, I was diagnosed with alopecia areata which is patchy hair loss and at certain appointments received up to fifteen injections at one time.
My mom found Ms.Pollard, a local therapist. She taught me how to express my feelings in a respectful way, discern why I do what I do, and overcome issues with my weight. After a few weeks of visiting her, my father became critical of my appearance.

He began projecting his insecurities of being obese onto me. I remember when he came to school, picked food off of my lunch tray while in line, and weighed me in front of the school nurse. I felt ashamed, and guilty for being almost 300 pounds. My father tried to guide me not to become overweight like him.

I believed he hated me and didn’t feel loved by him; I began to hate myself. Food became my friend. I wanted to lose weight but it was immensely difficult for me. But Ms.Pollard encouraged me to redefine what wholeness and success looked like for me. Every time I needed encouragement or a listening ear–she was there.

Her most valuable strategies taught me that growing inwardly is more important than changing my life externally. Especially, after being diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS)–a hormonal (auto-immune) disorder causing enlarged ovaries with small cysts on the outer edges. A symptom of PCOS is extreme weight gain. Immediately, I began to understand why it was hard for me to lose weight.

My diagnosis empowered me to finally take control of my well-being by discovering what nutritious meals fueled me. I was more active, including getting more steps in during the day by walking to class instead of taking the campus shuttle. Within two years I lost almost 100 pounds. It’s been a journey, but I’m in a better place with food emotionally and physically.
This scholarship will not only enable me to go back to school for my master’s in data science, but without it I won’t. I don’t have the luxury like my father did to go to a drawer and pull out money for each semester.

I am in the same wilderness my grandfather experienced that led to his self-destructive behaviors of overeating and workaholism. My grandpa needed a Ms.Pollard to help him navigate living in the wilderness and developing his whole self. She was able to do that for me. I want to be that person my grandfather and dad needed so I can help families and neighborhoods establish a foundation of generational health.

I want to create innovative biomedical technology that can detect abnormalities within the human body for those with underlying illnesses. If I had access to the data and medical technology I have now I could have resolved my medical issues sooner.

My mentor helped me to see it's not always about the numbers, and it's not always about the weight. It’s about what is below the surface. It’s about recognizing how internal and external struggles can impact one’s overall mental, physical, and emotional well-being. An elective course regarding emotional health and well-being would educate students on how to be healthy holistically.

Most individuals who pursue a college education, whether they are a first-generation student, continuing a tradition of becoming a doctor or lawyer, or even just pursuing a childhood dream; hope to use their degree to alter their family’s financial future. But a lot of people don’t see the benefit of modifying their family’s health habits. That’s who I am striving to be with this degree. This scholarship will impact me to get one step closer to changing my family’s health legacy.