Unapologetically Me by Kylie

Unapologetically Me by Kylie - September 2022 Scholarship Essay

Thinking about my younger self is hard. I was one of four siblings; one older sister, an older step brother, and a younger step sister. Being in the middle was isolating. I myself am a child of divorced parents there was constant switching house holds, but the feelings remained. If I could give my younger self one piece of advice it would be to unapologetically be myself.

When I was younger I struggled with my emotions and even now I sometimes struggle to cope with situations that arise. My family although out of love would invalidate feelings. Not just my own but the feelings of each other. Growing up in a house that rebuked sensitivity can be detrimental to a child's mental health. I have had numerous therapists and have worked constantly to better myself due to this invalidation. Knowing what I know now from constantly bettering myself I would want my younger self to not be ashamed about how I feel.

I was an especially sensitive child, when you have so many siblings you feel as though you are being drowned out in the crowd and that you don't belong. That isolating feelings being so constant made me develop severe anxiety. Anxiety of talking to new people, anxiety of speaking my opinions, and anxiety of being myself. So much so that even know I try to stay neutral so not to cause arguments or disagreements. I wish that I could've enjoyed being a child and anxiety free longer. I wish I could have been apologetically myself when I was younger because its so difficult to do that when you're older and repairing your mental state.

If I could give my younger self one piece of advice it would be to unapologetically be myself because I have done my fair share of apologizing already. Far more than a child should have to.