How Passing Calculus Saved My Life by Kristen

How Passing Calculus Saved My Life by Kristen - December 2016 Scholarship Essay

Mrs. Saunders walks around the room passing out the test. To inform us how long we have for the test she screeches, “One hour, fifteen minutes!” I look pleadingly at the clock as if I can slow down time. I was now a math soldier on the front lines, scared to death. I should have studied more. I should have attended those tutoring sessions. “Derive 1/3(x^2-25),” I scan the onerous calculus test hoping the answers will magically appear on the page. I skip around the questions thinking I surely must know one of them. Before I know it, the time is up. I wait anxiously for a week to receive my grade. Like a drill sergeant she stomps around the class, passing back the papers. The blood-red ink on the paper reads “D,” and my stomach instantly drops. I glance back at the red marks, which chip away my slaughtered confidence. I tried to make sense of my grade. Did Kristen the straight “A” student, the one who never fails, receive a “D”? The one who thinks a “B” is the equivalent to an “F”? Holding the test in my hands, I felt my world crumbling down.
I was caught in the crossfire of AP Calculus. I had to learn how to attack mathematical concepts and vanquish derivatives and integrals. Despite my best efforts, the ideas continuously flowed in one ear and out the other. Receiving the “D” made me question my intellectual ability. It made me wonder if I can’t succeed in this AP course, how I could succeed in college, or become an independent adult? I wanted to raise my white flag. As a counterattack, I forced myself to study endlessly in hopes of securing that elusive “A.” Like a tactical command chief, I tirelessly searched high and low for new ways to learn. I created innovative methods of studying, from making catchy songs about the chain rule to dance moves to memorize derivatives and integrals. I attempted the “chain rule groove,” and “derivative shuffle,” as a way of besieging the highest grade. Text group chats were made at midnight to figure out if my comrades knew how to start a problem. They were stuck in the trenches as well. I’d scour the internet for helpful videos and signed up to enlist the aid of online tutors. Calculus was an uphill battle. The class demanded blood, sweat, and tears. Calculus, showed no mercy.
I became a more assiduous student and learned how to combat the numerous frustrations brought on by Calculus. Two months into the year, the student soldiers dwindled from twenty to ten, and, I too, contemplated retreating. I had to keep a zealous attitude and remain tenacious despite the intense amount of homework and arduous task of constant learning. Calculus was boot camp and battlefield rolled into one; it molded me to become a better student and taught me to persevere when faced with perplexing problems. Because of being in the trenches of calculus, I am mentality stronger and able to handle any challenge. I was forced to teach myself the survival skills needed to make it out of a mathematical war zone. I feel ready to fight new battles with new tactics.
My failures in Calculus humbled me. I was a top gun, a person who had all the answers. I was the one who could never get anything wrong. In my junior year, I found out I was wrong about all that. Calculus included many battles, most of which left scars and wounds; mental, if not physical. However, despite the losing of some of these battles I ended up winning the war. Life and college are going to be the biggest fights I face in order to reach my goals. My battle wounds have healed and I’m now more prepared than ever to face the difficulties life will bring. I’m Locked and Loaded.