Body Image by Keoni

Body Image by Keoni - January 2016 Scholarship Essay

My new year's resolution for 2016 is to lose weight. I know so of you are thinking how this effects effects school, but just let me explain. I have a very bad body image problem. This leaves me hating my body and a little of myself. I don't feel comfortable inside of my own body. I feel so bad about myself, I would become my own bully. I pick on myself constantly. I would call myself ugly. I felt ugly on the inside, and sometimes I would want to make myself look ugly on the outside. So I planned to lose weight.
Sometimes my body image problems effects me when I go into school. I would notice that my peers don't really judge people on their character, or their personality, or their will to come to school to work hard. They only notice how someone looks, or how “fit” a person is. Why? I always asks this question. I feel invisible. I get a 4.0, and its my peers only notice the fact that someone is skinny or not. I just feel like people are judging.
Throughout the years I notice that I can't change what people look like, but I can change what I look like. I'm changing for me, not for anyone else. I don't change for other people. My body image led me to lose confidence in myself. I didn't want to do anything with anyone, I just always felt someone was starring at me. When I walk into a room, when I answer a question, when I do a presentation. All eyes were on me. But I felt like they wasn't starring at me; I felt like they were starring at my stomach.
So my new year's resolution is to lose weight. To help me get a lot more confidence. This would help me keep me keep my head high in school. I would feel comfortable in my body. I would feel comfortable enough to walk out of my bubble. This would help not care about what anyone thinks. I would just keep being successful. I wouldn't care what anyone cared about because I would care enough about myself. I would be getting my work done in school.