The Grades That Gave Me Life by Kelsey

The Grades That Gave Me Life by Kelsey - August 2014 Scholarship Essay

I was what you would call the perfect high school student. I respected my teachers, was captain of the volleyball team, did numerous hours of community service, had a 4.1 GPA and graduated as valedictorian of my class. My head was screwed on straight and I had a clear vision of the bigger picture: my future. When it came time for college I committed to Pepperdine University in Malibu, California where I currently reside as an undergraduate. As you can probably guess, I wasn't used to academic failure. It is at the core of my nature to do well in school because one, I'm competitive and like to come out on top, two, I like to feel like I am in control of my surroundings, and three, I want to give myself the best possible life I can have. As prepared as I might have seemed on paper, I was not expecting what was to come.

As a liberal arts college, my first semester was packed with General Education courses and only two courses – General Chemistry and Calculus 3 – that counted towards my major. The first couple weeks went well until the course loads got heavier and harder for me to understand. A month into school I had my first chemistry exam. I got a C+. I tried to shake it off because now I knew what to expect and I had the rest of the semester to catch up. A week later was my first exams in humanities and calculus and my first essay due for English; C+, D-, C. Those first few blows haunted me throughout the rest of the semester as I struggled to stay afloat in any of my classes.

I quickly stopped sleeping as much, skipped meals and refused to hang out with friends all so I could focus on my grades. I became a hermit in our school library for the second half of the semester. My health spiraled downward to the point where I had to spend day after day being monitored in the school's health center and I was having anxiety attacks before each of my exams. After all was said and done I finished the semester having dropped out of my calculus class and with a 2.7 GPA.

When I reflected on my semester I could finally see just how much self-worth I found in my grades. I was willing to sacrifice my overall well-being just to get high marks. As I read my grades however, the sky didn't fall and the earth kept spinning. That is when it dawned on me that life isn't only about grades. It's about using adversities to help you grow not shut you down. It's about knowing your strengths and weaknesses and accepting them. It's about working hard but enjoying the ride. As academically hard as that semester was, I couldn't be more grateful that it happened. I changed some study habits over the next three semesters and was able to raise my GPA to a 3.0 while still having fun. It took an academic failure in order to help me understand what life was really about. I would call that true success.