Finding the Strength in My Own Voice by Kaylee- January 2026 Scholarship Essay by Kaylee

Finding the Strength in My Own Voice by Kaylee- January 2026 Scholarship Essay by Kaylee - January 2026 Scholarship Essay

For most of my life, I have never been one to openly express my opinions– whether in the classroom, at home, or in any other setting. I thought that being a good person meant being quiet instead of voicing my opinion. I thought that being a good friend meant being agreeable, even when it came at the expense of my own feelings. I let other people make my decisions for me in order to avoid conflict and often put my own needs last. I didn't look at it this way then, but I was allowing people to walk all over me. What made this the most difficult was the people who were affecting my confidence and own self-worth weren’t strangers– they were my best friends. The moment I discovered a new strength in myself was when I learned how to stand up for myself.

At first, I didn’t truly understand what was happening. The comments they made were subtle, concealed as advice or jokes. I learned to brush most of it off because I thought they were trying to be helpful as my friends. Over time, the jokes seemed to be harsher, and their advice often made me question what I was capable of doing, my decision making, and my self-esteem. Instead of questioning their behavior and how they were affecting me, I began to question myself. I thought if I showed I could take their advice better or tried harder to please them, everything would improve and they would treat me the way they treated each other. Instead, they persisted and my confidence continued to weaken.

The tipping point began with my dad. After seeing me come home upset a countless number of times, he sat me down for a talk that completely altered how I saw myself and my life: no one will respect you until you respect yourself. He didn’t teach me to be unkind or give payback. Instead, he showed me that standing up for myself was understanding that my decisions and opinions mattered just as much as my friends’ or anyone else’s. Taking that advice was not easy. Even though I knew my friends were damaging me, I didn’t want to do anything that would make me seem difficult. Worst of all, I didn’t want to risk my friendships because it felt like I was nothing without them. Eventually, I realized that diminishing myself was much more harmful than speaking up.

The first time I truly stood up for myself, I felt something I had never experienced before. I communicated my feelings honestly instead of pushing them aside. Speaking up showed me that my voice actually meant something. I finally had discovered a strength I didn’t know I had: the power to advocate for myself with confidence and conviction. When I spoke up about what I needed and how I felt, their response confirmed what I thought might happen. Rather than being acknowledged with consideration and understanding, I was met with excuses that placed the blame back onto me. Right then, I discovered another level of strength– the courage to walk away. Letting go of those friendships was difficult, but I understood that it is not worth holding onto situations that are unhealthy.

That decision has influenced my growth in a profound way. I began rebuilding my confidence by knowing that I no longer rely on the approval of others to determine my worth. In school, I have become more willing to ask questions and participate in discussions. At home, I now express what I am feeling without hesitation and fear of other’s opinions. In my personal life, I am more intentional about the relationships I choose to form, where respect and encouragement from both sides is emphasized. I now understand that my opinions have value and that my voice should be heard in every setting.

I have also changed the way I handle challenges. Instead of putting my head down in difficult situations, I trust my judgement and decision-making by approaching them directly. I have learned that control over my life doesn’t come from avoiding conflict and pleasing others but believing in myself enough to speak up when it matters. I would hope that the people I once called my friends also learned from this situation by realizing that control in their lives doesn’t come from controlling others, but by understanding their faults and taking responsibility for their actions.

The strength my dad helped me find continues to lead me every day. Learning to stand up for myself has become one of the most important lessons of my life. I am now a more independent, confident, and strong woman– someone who understands that in order to grow, it is essential to make uncomfortable choices, but it is these choices that allow us to move forward into the futures we want for ourselves.