No More Second Chances by Kaylee

No More Second Chances by Kaylee - July 2016 Scholarship Essay

“Here’s the last of it,” I said, placing a pile of lined paper half an inch thick on my teacher’s desk. The dismay and disappointment in her eyes was palpable, and I tried to ignore the stab of guilt that sent through me. The daunting stack of papers was all the statistics homework I’d neglected to do throughout the semester, that my teacher Mrs. Hornberger had generously allowed me to turn in last minute to save my grade from its current abysmal state.
I’d always been a dedicated student, maintaining a GPA that consistently averaged above a 4.0 and making homework a top priority. While I did not necessarily enjoy figuring out math problems or writing lengthy research papers, I had always found satisfaction in getting them done and doing them well. However, my senior year I found myself terribly depressed. I lost interest in all the activities I had previously enjoyed, and my motivation for schoolwork was at an all time low.
While I managed to push through the aching emptiness of depression to complete work for other classes, I fell spectacularly behind in statistics. I didn’t understand the concepts and had little motivation to try. Mrs. Hornberger’s fondness for group projects meant that I could get away with relying on my partners’ explanations or, admittedly, their work to get through in-class assignments, but when it came to exams I was totally lost, and I rarely turned in homework. I felt ashamed of my poor performance, and that in turn left me feeling even more depressed and less motivated.
As the semester drew to a close, I began to panic, as it seemed that the best grade I could hope for was a D. I had never earned below a B in my life. Sheer terror was enough to awaken my apparently dormant desire to do well, and I threw myself into studying and labored away at the extra credit project Mrs. Hornberger had offered. My grade inched up to a C. My panic didn’t abate, since I had been admitted to a prestigious women’s college and poor performance in my final semester of high school could lead to my acceptance being rescinded.
I swallowed my pride and went to Mrs. Hornberger, begging for the chance to turn in all my missed work. She agreed, but fixed me with a steely gaze and said, “I’m only doing this because you’re a senior.” I got the message loud and clear: she should be letting me fail, but she cared enough about my future to give me a second chance.
Mrs. Hornberger entered score after score on my last minute make up work just a few hours before grades were due. My mark in the class shot up to a B+. I am endlessly grateful to my teacher for her willingness to go out of her way to help me pass stats, but the most important lesson I learned wasn’t that I should give people second chances (though I believe deeply in that philosophy as well). The biggest lesson was that I should not count on another chance.
In the end, I was able to finagle my way into a good mark thanks to a particularly kind act on my teacher’s part, but what could have happened had she refused to help me was very real in my mind. My failure to devote myself to statistics could have resulted in failing the class and finding myself without a college acceptance. Mrs. Hornberger’s decision to remind me that could be my reality was a lesson that I won’t soon forget: better to do something right the first time, because there is no guarantee that you will be given the opportunity to fix your mistakes. I can only thank Mrs. Hornberger that in this situation, I was allowed that chance.