Be Strong, You Matter by Kayle

Be Strong, You Matter by Kayle - November 2018 Scholarship Essay

Be strong, you matter. These four words hold a meaning of existence, of inspiration, of self-love. Due to social status and yearly income surrounding us teenagers, adults, and children are forced to believe that their lives are irrelevant if they don't fit society's mold of wealth and success. I’ve faced this struggle. Everyone has faced this struggle. I feel that it is my job to connect to people who continuously struggle with surviving the social world like I once did. I use this quote a lot because I believe if I can reach enough hearts with it I can change Society. It got me through my toughest times and my darkest hours. It feels appropriate to use this as my senior quote because I know there's going to be that one person who wants to know why I used it since people ask me why I use it so much already. Anyone who reads it will bring a potential for another person to change society. I am a survivor, this is my story.

Sitting on the squeaky hardwood floor of my century-old living room I curl my legs into a criss-cross and rest my head in the chubby hands of which I've buried them. I cringe at the sound of my older brother and his friends laughing in the other room. I'm chubby, short, and nearly invisible to everyone. They don't think I know what they’re doing in there, but the horrid yet earthy smell of smoke escaping through the cracks of the door isn't from cigarettes. Momma’s in her bedroom napping as if she worked a 3rd shift job or something- not. She doesn't work at all, she's on disability. I never believed it, her “disability” I mean, unless it was smoking pot with my brother or hibernating. I raise my head and shiver at the sight of a cockroach scurrying past my bare feet, now stretched out on the floor. Closing my eyes I think about how we used to be a real family. About having nice clothes to wear to school so I wouldn't get bullied. Seconds later, I turn on the tv to distract myself but the only thing I see are the words “Be strong, you matter” in big auburn letters above a toll-free number of some opioid addiction company advertising rehab. My mind goes blank, and with tears streaming down my face I whisper softly “if only”.

Slowly getting off the school bus of loud kids I think about what Shia Hampton and Naira Virgil told me at recess. They told me I couldn't be apart of the Girls Only Club because Ifat and smelled bad. My eyes water up as I drag myself down each step and cross the street. When the school bus drives away I look up and see a nice car as I wipe away tears I let slip out of my eyes. I begin to get excited at the thought of this being our car since we didn't have one at the time. I run into my house and find my mom and a fancy lady wearing a suit sitting at the table in our kitchen. Realizing the car wasn't ours and wondering why she's in our part of town both make my heart sink. Shes social worker a child services department that takes kids out of bad homes. My 36 days of missed school grabbed their attention and she was sent to investigate. Momma tells me I'm going to my grandparents until she got better. When she got done with rehab I came back, though it was a year later. My brother knew she wouldn't stay clean so he stayed with his grandma. I thought he was stupid for it but he was protecting himself from the hurt I felt when I found out he was right.

Sitting at the granite bar in the kitchen of my grandparent's house I thought about how fast a life can change. At 4:00 I was watching iCarly while eating Cheetos and at 7:00 I was doing a project on Marilyn Monroe I had no intentions of doing. That's when my aunt came in the door. She helps me with my problems and always gives me advice. One time I broke her plate and she got mad at me but that's all I really have to say bad about her. She comes over to me and embraces me into her arms. I was chubby, short, and apparently, not invisible to everyone. Honestly, I didn't want to live anymore. But really, my life had just begun.

Today, Im an all-A student and varsity tennis player for Seneca High School. I've lettered in both academics and athletics while being a member of national honors society. I've also earned many plagues concerning Tennis Player Of The Year, Principals Award, Den Masters award, Outstanding Student Award, and others! My road was long, my journey was hard. But I kept the words “Be strong, you matter” in the back of my mind and because of that, I became who I am today- a survivor. I will use that quote as my senior yearbook quote because it pushed me through my hardest moments, I intend for it to push others as well. We all want to matter, we all want to be survivors. So...let's survive.