The Art of Letting Go by Kaylan
Kaylanof San Antonio's entry into Varsity Tutor's June 2014 scholarship contest
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The Art of Letting Go by Kaylan - June 2014 Scholarship Essay
Fear was something that had always consumed me and controlled me through high school. I was constantly anxious and worried about every aspect of my life. I was crippled by fears and controlled by my thoughts. My grades were slipping, I was losing interest in things that I loved to do, and bed was my ultimate sanctuary. My parents were worried and I was worried. I was not myself, so I decided to see a therapist to get answers.
He told me I had depression, and I was in denial. I wasn't sad, I wasn't suicidal, I just wasn't myself. But I analyzed my year, and remembered the times were I cried myself to sleep worried about my future. I was sad and I had been taken over by anxiety.
There was a turning point when I got to college. Instead of worrying about the future, I was going to let go of my anxieties and fears and not let them control me. Instead of thinking about things, I acted on impulse. I had freed myself.
If I were to write a book about anything, it would be on how freeing it is to let go. Worrying about something solves nothing, so what is the point? Instead about letting your thoughts control you, let your impulsiveness take over. When my first week of college started, I went to all the sponsored events and met my best friends, got involved in different organizations, and replaced my stress with helping others.
I was able to go back to doing the things that I loved. I started volunteering with a local retirement home and hospice, and every week I went to a club that helped take care of kids. I was being filled with love from helping others, and was able to overflow that love back to people. I realized that I treasured helping people, because it took the interest off of myself and on the person I was serving.
My book wouldn't force someone to change their ways, but to find fulfillment in letting go and giving back. You cannot expect someone else to take the responsibility of helping others, because then nothing will get done. My book will hopefully drive people to give back and give up trying to control things. I had to be driven by serving others, not helping myself, and that is where I found fulfillment.
What can you accomplish once you let go of the thoughts holding you back?