Learning to Fail by Kayla

Learning to Fail by Kayla - July 2023 Scholarship Essay

Throughout my education, I have had lots of ups and downs regarding examination grades, understanding the material, and keeping up with classes. I began my college career right when COVID started, effectively being thrown into a completely new learning model with no idea how to tailor it to my needs. Fortunately, the classes I began with were basic, allowing me time to determine how I learn best and find study habits that accelerated my learning. However, I quickly found that if I was not in the classroom, I tended to procrastinate studying, doing homework, and even attending classes. As the school years progressed and I entered more advanced classes, my grades were slipping. I still held the ideals from high school, where I was bright enough that I didn’t need to study in depth. My biggest failure during my education was when I failed my first test. It was a statics exam, the second one of the semester. I had delayed going to class and taking notes, using the excuse that the professor was not a good teacher. I convinced myself I would learn the material later, on my own, but I never did. I ignored the homework and eventually, the week of the test approached. I glanced over the material, deciding it was rudimentary, and neglected to study. I entered the exam confidently, only to be humbled by the very first question. I knew nothing. I jotted down incorrect answers and left the test utterly defeated. I cried for days, knowing I failed and my D-level grade confirmed it. I had never failed anything related to school before, but I had only myself to blame.

People around me chalked it up to engineering being a difficult degree, but I knew the truth. I refused to put in the work and my grade reflected the lack of effort. That failing grade changed my work ethic and college trajectory completely. It was the wake-up call I needed. Ever since then I have attended classes, studied and rewrote notes right after class, completed homework, redid homework, and went to office hours immediately when I was lost. I began to bring past examinations to professors, working through my errors to understand all the material. As much as I studied, I still did poorly on some exams, but I knew that I was trying my hardest. Engineering is a hard degree to complete, it was never a walk in the park. But I was okay with failing when I was trying. I began to understand that one test grade did not define my education or who I was. It didn’t define my efforts or how much I understood the material. Some tests are made for students to fail, and I learned to do my best regardless of the outcome.

If I never failed that exam, I would have continued postponing everything related to classes. Learning to fail, getting back up, moving forward, and doing better made me who I am today. I no longer fear failure, rather I take it as another learning experience. Learning from my mistakes has made me a well-rounded student and in industry, it has given me the strength to succeed.