The limit of responsibility when helping people in your life by Kathya

The limit of responsibility when helping people in your life by Kathya - March 2024 Scholarship Essay

Although it is a common idea in society that you should always assist those who are clearly struggling, there is only so much help one can offer until it begins to become a burden. The responsibility of people helping others who need it exists, but only to the extent that they are willing to help themselves as well. I have arrived at this belief due to experiences that have shown me not everyone is willing to accept the help you are offering and that assisting those around you to progress creates a cycle that benefits the giver as much as the receiver.
Middle school took a large toll on my reputation in school. Noticing how people treated me differently due to my trouble-causing ways made me take some time to self-reflect to ask myself what I wanted. Did I want to be someone who watched the change or did I want to be someone who would make the change happen? As I had completely rebranded myself while transitioning into high school, I found myself joining extracurricular activities and also challenging myself to take an all-honors course load. But something was different. As I stepped into my honors classes, I noticed a change of scenery. My friends and I were no longer in the same classes, as all of the seats were filled with my white classmates. I was left dumbfounded by the fact that all of my black friends had opted out of advanced classes. I figured that if I was able to push a few of my friends to try harder in school, that would then increase the number of black students in advanced classes and recognize us as hard workers in our community. I spent my entire freshman year trying to steer my friends in the direction of playing sports, joining the community service club, or even offering to help them with their homework. As Anna Julia Cooper states, “When and where I enter…then and there the whole negro race enters with me.” I felt that it was my responsibility to continue leading and educating my friends to break the stereotypes in our society that black students aren’t capable of living up to their full potential. But I began to realize that no one was following the path that I paved for them. Instead, black students in my school continued to live by the concept that the classes were “too hard” if they were advanced or they “didn’t feel like it” when it came to extra-curriculars. I now understood that I could only cater to their want to advance in learning if they also took the situation seriously and wanted better for themselves. Despite the fact that some do not want to progress from the place they currently stand, their lack of response to your helping hand should not determine the help you give to those who want it.
Journeying through the college application process was incredibly stressful. Dealing with applying to colleges and worrying about financial aid, all while staying on top of my school work was a lot to handle. Luckily, my school has the ability to provide their high school students with college counselors. With the help of our college counselors, a small amount of that weight from senior year was lifted off of our shoulders. As they give us access to many of their resources for scholarships and insight on different schools, they also sometimes act as guidance counselors when students are having a hard time. Unfortunately, not all students have the opportunity to be provided with help like my school did. I have friends in low-funded, small schools who have had to go through the entire process of applying to college by themselves because no one in the school cares enough to help them or because their school just simply can’t afford that luxury. With that, my friends find it beneficial to have me as a resource. As they can’t get the help they need from their school, when they ask me for advice that I have been given from my counselors or scholarships from the spreadsheet I have, I have no problem passing on that information. I willingly put myself in a position where I can help my friends, because not only are they accepting my help, but they also communicate with me for resources that will allow them to help themselves. Ultimately, helping my friends also helps me, recognizing that with my assistance to their situation, I strengthen the friendship that we share, which benefits my state of mind knowing I have people who care for me. This creates the idea that setting aside your goals to help others and advancing to achieve your personal goals is a never-ending cycle, as you help others to help yourself and vice-versa.