biomedical engineering by Katherine

biomedical engineering by Katherine - December 2023 Scholarship Essay

The familiar creaky sound follows the opening of the door leading to the basement staircase and, at the bottom, is a small bathroom. A never-forgotten memory associated with this particular sound occurred in February two years ago as I unlocked the bathroom door. I was worried about not hearing a response from my twin sister Jacqueline and, to my bewilderment, found her purging. I was in a state of shock with her yelling at me to leave, and I stood there paralyzed with questions upon questions piling up in my head. Finally regaining my bearings, I bolted into my confused mom’s arms, spilling my hurt and worry for the future of my twin sister’s health.
Jacqueline and I, from the day we were born, were never seen apart. We were our family’s Fred and George Weasley from Harry Potter. We matched from head to toes, with our only separating feature being our hairstyles, mine wearing a headband and hers being pigtails. Fond memories fill my mind ranging from us staying up late laughing to supporting one another when it felt as if everyone was against our family. Alongside the two of us is our younger brother Matthew who is autistic. As a family, we have suffered shameful looks and nasty remarks from strangers who either lack compassion or who do not understand the conditions of autistic children. My sister was a source of comfort when we faced ridicule because she was more expressive about our feelings and introspective on why it hurts to be marginalized. In those moments, it felt like it was she and I against the world.
The hard cold truth about any disorder is how it impacts the family, often like a slap on the face. The process of understanding and recovery is not as seamless as it may seem and simply not a straight path forward. There were good days that made us believe it was just a bad nightmare and other days spent in the hospital anxiously waiting for test results from doctors. Whenever my parents came back from those appointments, it was a mix of worriedness on their faces and defeat because of their inability to help her get better immediately. What could I do to help her recover? Could the symptoms my sister was displaying at the time get worse or better? Many of my questions still lingered in my mind as to how this happened in the first place. I felt helpless in this situation, but I was motivated to assist her in healing, but how?
Attending a group therapy session as Jacqueline’s guest became an eye-opening experience for me. Listening to others struggling to overcome their eating disorders and learning about their progress was inspiring. When they shared how their eating disorders hurt them physically and mentally and their trepidation about the impact on their future health, I realized how complex disorders are on the human psyche. I knew Jacqueline was hurting too, and from that day forward, I made it my goal to help individuals suffering from eating disorders. The medical doctors could only help with the immediate cure, but I was never satisfied with leaving the future of my twins’ health in the hands of a stranger. I dream of finding a therapy that can help with the underlying causes that last far beyond an individual’s recovery from their eating disorder. Through this experience, I decided to focus on Biomedical Engineering in college and pursue a career in the medical research field. This moment was the catalyst for shaping my future in developing innovative treatments because holding on to the hope my sister would be okay was not enough for me. I want to be involved in being there for her and others in the most impactful way possible.