Stop Overthinking. by Katelyn

Stop Overthinking. by Katelyn - September 2022 Scholarship Essay

If there was one piece of advice I could give to my past self it would be to stop overthinking. I've spent the majority of my life overthinking the tiniest things; Things like my shoes squeaking, raising my hand to ask a question, and especially what others thought about me. I think being curious about what other people think of you is normal, however, in my case it's something that used to consume me. Even now it's something I struggle with.

I think my overthinking stems from my lifelong insecurities; I always struggled with my self-image and felt like I was an outsider. I was the kid who walked on the grass when there was no more space on the sidewalk, the one who got left behind when the teacher said to get into pairs, and the one whose friends picked her last for gym activities. To be completely honest, this still happens sometimes. Naturally, I grew up being conscious of every little decision I made, afraid that if I made the wrong choice or did something to embarrass myself that I would be pushed out even further than I already was.

It wasn't until 8th grade that I started to realize that the thoughts of others aren't nearly as important as I thought they were. This is the year I found true friends, friends that helped me build up my confidence and showed me that I didn't have to live every day caring about what others thought. I could be my authentic self around them without feeling judged or worried I would be left behind.

Now, as a senior in high school, I've grown even more since then and no longer let the idea of others determine the choices I make. I think if I had not had a problem with overthinking in the first place then I would have saved myself a lot of unnecessary suffering. However, I'm also grateful; Having experiences you regret is always an opportunity to grow and learn. In the future, I'm sure to learn even more from past experiences and grow.