Writer Unblocked: The Freedom to Not Be Afraid by Kate

Writer Unblocked: The Freedom to Not Be Afraid by Kate - September 2017 Scholarship Essay

Blank paper used to frighten me. Thirty-two white lines, always waiting, watching my pencil hover above their unmarked margins. I almost couldn’t bring the lead down, so intimidating was the perfect emptiness. Yet now I am no longer frightened. I attack each bare page with an eager intensity, filling space with my ideas and stories. I ruthlessly eat the white space up until none remains, a new sheet is called for, and I start it all over again. The class that changed my reluctant fear into bold excitement was creative writing. Creative writing has taught me to let go of perfectionism and view life through a different lens.

Throughout the course of my creative writing class, I learned to step away from the rigid perfectionism that had previously plagued my school life. I hated sharing my ideas until they were perfected, and the idea of offering my half-baked piece to peer editing made me nervous. I timidly explained to my teacher that I would edit my writing piece on my own. “Nonsense!” she cried, in her boisterous way, “ideas are merely concepts until brought into the light of many minds!” Confused and acutely conscious of the probing stares of classmates, I hesitantly agreed and proffered my precious paper for scrutiny. Upon reviewing the peer edits covering my writing, I couldn’t help but crack a smile. On my peer-edited paper was support for what I’d considered a flawed design, and numerous other ideas to build into my own. Writing has let me let go of the idea of “perfect”. Numerous times I’ve found myself pondering the precise power of prose in one stanza of alliteration versus another, obsessing over whether diction should be portrayed in denotation or dialect, until I realized my self-editing stymied the very idea I was trying to elaborate upon! With the realization that one need not be perfect to maintain quality, I began to relax my aggressive attitude towards perfectionism. Never once since have I regretted curbing my excessive self-criticism and now I always welcome the input of others.

The biggest impact my creative writing class had on me was in the way I view everyday life. Before, nighttime was just dark and flowers just plants. Now, I experience the night with five senses, not only seeing shadows but feeling the cool air turn up the hair on my arms, listening to the nocturnal creatures and imagining what may be hiding around the next bend. All the while I take notes for my next novel, thinking carefully on how to describe a character experiencing the naked night. No longer are flowers just part of the scenery, but unique individuals with different colors and attitudes ingrained in their petals. I imagine them with personalities, chatting and having tea over weaved grass tables. Everywhere I look, there are new possibilities for creative writing, more prompts and options for my mind to work on. Everything is alive with hidden depths, and to this day curiosity and potential stain my gaze and outlook on life.

I am no longer afraid of a blank paper. I have realized that I can start writing before I know where my ideas are leading me, and that by incorporating others’ ideas, you not only enrich your writing but also your learning experience. Two concepts combined into a Franken-idea are better than two thoughts isolated and alone. I’ve learned to cease debating between two endings, and instead focus my energy on adding description and depth to one. Finally, my creative writing class has enabled me to see the world through a new lens. By setting off on a journey before the end is in sight and keeping an open mind to new thoughts and ideas, I revel in my newfound creative freedom. Jumping in with two feet makes for a better journey and a more fulfilling destination. In the end, my school experience, and indeed my life, would be incomplete without creative writing.