Our Mistakes are Lessons Learned by Kamani

Our Mistakes are Lessons Learned by Kamani - May 2022 Scholarship Essay

For the past two years, I’ve calloused myself physically and mentally. After experiencing the taste of “freedom”, I realized the real world will consistently throw obstacles your way to challenge your well-being. In 2018, I attended the University of West Florida (UWF). In 2020, I was disenrolled from UWF due to my academic performance. During my first year of college, I thought I was a natural at balancing my academic life with my social life. However, I would find out my sophomore year what “being too comfortable” looks like. I rushed a fraternity, made friends with people that meant well but didn’t help me grow as a person, and developed bad habits. At the time, I was enjoying the rush of a different environment. I was never popular in high school or had friends that wanted to party all the time. I felt like I was missing out on what youth was about. As time passed, my academics were declining. I should've been disenrolled after the semester finished, but my Professor of Military Science (PMS) saw I had the potential to bounce back and redeem myself.

Spring semester came and I was ready to tackle the new semester with an iron fist. All I could think about was making my family proud. I studied more and applied more effort to my classes. Even so, the habits that affected my academic performance the first time stuck to me like superglue. I was able to pull all my grades up except for one. Failing that one class cost me my enrollment in the ROTC program. It was truly hard for me to adopt the mindset that I once had during my freshman year. Even after the long conversations with my parents and guidance from my school counselor, I was living an identity crisis.

One night, after another night of partying with my so-called friends, I had an epiphany. The lightbulb in my head shrined brighter than a diamond. During that moment, I knew my mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being had enough. I called my parents the following day to fly me to New York, so I can be with them to recollect myself. November 16, 2020, will be the day when my journey of self-reflection begins.

After two years of self-reflecting on who I am, the most important skill I learned was improving my emotional intelligence (EQ). There are four domains to EQ: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. As I became more conscious of myself and the relationship I have with others, I felt stronger mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Even though I still have long ways to go in improving my EQ, I am a more cultivated individual. I learned to accept who I am, acknowledge the mistakes I made, and embrace my fears.