Pride by Kaitlyn

Pride by Kaitlyn - January 2016 Scholarship Essay

Pride
Everything has always come easy to me. That has been the case as far back as I can remember, even at just three years old when my older brother was learning how to ride a bike without training wheels. Once I saw how easy it was for him I decided to try it for myself, and sure enough I was able to ride without training wheels right next to my brother the very same day. I continued pushing myself all through high school: securing the spot as head attorney all four years on the mock trial team and graduating at the top of my class. Academics, extracurricular activities, a social life, and a workout routine; you name it, I was probably achieving it.
However, college was a whole other ball game. I was thrown into an environment where everyone was at the top of their class, everyone was talented, and everyone was ambitious. I quickly found myself trying to do it all. I signed up for four different clubs while rushing a sorority. I talked to people about potentially starting a mock trial club, and was taking a full schedule of classes. Water was quickly beginning to rise all around me, but I was determined to stay afloat.
Before I knew it, I had gotten into the sorority that I had wanted but at the expense of missing multiple club meetings. My grades began to slip all while I lost contact with the people in charge of funding new clubs. I was working out before class every morning on an average of three hours of sleep just trying to push myself through the motions of my everyday lifestyle with the little energy that I had left. I was often missing meals to study for classes anytime that I could, so I could still have a social life later in the evening. I was losing grip on everything around me and feeling them slip through my fingers sent me into a panic. I began paying less attention to things and people that mattered to me in order to get my grades back up, which left me feeling alone. It took me awhile to realize what was happening and the band aids I so often tried to apply would rarely stick to the wound.
Which is why my New Year’s Resolution is to learn when I need to ask for help and to not be scared to do so. If I had asked for help from a tutor, so I wouldn’t have spent so much time uselessly struggling on homework I could not figure out; had asked my club members to keep me updated on what was going on, so I wouldn’t have to drop out of the club completely; had asked someone to help me with starting a new club on campus, so maybe a mock trial club would have existed; had asked my own self to take it easy, so I wouldn’t feel so sleep deprived and hungry; had asked my friends for help, so they wouldn’t feel like I was pushing them away, then my first semester of college would have been substantially less exhausting. My New Year’s Resolution is to conquer my own pride because sometimes the biggest obstacle you can face is yourself.