an Unintentional Good by Kai

an Unintentional Good by Kai - August 2023 Scholarship Essay

My most significant educational achievement was not one I actively pursued or even wanted. it was the community service award I received during high school. Strangely enough, I wasn't even aware that such an award existed in my school until I unexpectedly found myself being awarded for my efforts.

I had always been focused on both successes and failures in my academics, often placing my self-worth on how I did in the classroom. In the beginning Community service was a requirement, something I did out of obligation, rather than seeking recognition. I didn't mind helping, l loved that aspect. It was just the community program I chose to earn my hours with left no room for me to have fun during my summer break, it involved childcare and took up the majority of my summer break to be in heat wrangling hyper children among a laundry list of other duties from 7 am to 7 pm every day. Although I cherished the idea of helping others, the constant commitment began to weigh on me, and at some point I found myself resenting the time it stole from my youth.

What caught me off guard was the sheer number of hours I had accumulated over that time. I’d assumed I had surpassed the required 100 hours at some point and just kept going because I knew the program still needed the help and it made me feel good to be useful to someone but in no way did I set out to break a school record with over 600 hours. My advisor's astonishment mirrored my own when I submitted my hours.it didn't hit me until the physical award was in my hand that it was a big deal I’d done something people felt worth recognizing.

While I had previously grappled with feelings of unworthiness tied to academic accolades, this award demonstrated that my dedication to others had tangible value that I couldn't downplay or dismiss. This realization served as a shield against imposter syndrome as I navigated college. It instilled in me a sense of competence and the confidence needed to tackle complex subjects like neuroscience or even venture into directing films.

As I progress toward my future goals, I carry with me the lesson that meaningful actions, undertaken without anticipation of recognition, can leave a lasting imprint. My community service award wasn't just a fleeting accomplishment—it became a reminder of my capacity to contribute and make a meaningful impact, even when I least expected it.