Finding My Own Way by Joyce

Finding My Own Way by Joyce - May 2017 Scholarship Essay

Why do books hold such significance to so many people from so many different walks of life? Is it because they give the reader someone they can relate with? Is it because it provides an escape from everyday life? Books can fulfill many different purposes, even simple entertainment. Yet, in most cases they contain significant knowledge in their overarching storylines. Siddhartha, by Hermann Hesse, is one such book. Siddhartha best influenced my life because it reminded me that everyone has to find themselves in their own way, and that life is about more than material possessions and successes. 
When I was first introduced to Siddhartha, I was in high school and going through a rough patch. I was living in a home where I constantly felt criticized, like my opinions and thoughts did not matter if they did not align with everyone else's. At the time, I placed much of my self-worth in what others thought of me and was struggling to find my own way while also trying to please those I loved. In Hesse's work, Siddhartha's father is a Brahmin and the community around him expects that he will follow in his father's footsteps. Yet, Siddhartha does not feel he will find enlightenment through this avenue, so he decides to set out on his own journey despite the expectations of those around him. Siddhartha's decision really spoke to me, and encouraged me to step out and find my own way. It helped me realize that no one knows what is best for me better than myself, and that those who truly care will be there regardless, just like Siddhartha's father and friend Govinda were for him.  
Siddhartha, by Hermann Hesse, also illustrates the fact that you may not find what you are looking for on your first try. When Siddhartha first left his home, he studied with a group of ascetics called the Samanas for three years; and while he learned many things from them, he did not feel he would reach enlightenment by continuing to study with them. Siddhartha goes on to try many different experiences and lifestyles before truly finding enlightenment. What this taught me was that I may not find what I am looking for on my first attempt, and that is okay. Society today seems to stress outward success as the only important thing in life. What is often overlooked or forgotten is the growth which is achieved in failure. Failing is much harder than succeeding, and the experience gained helps encourage personal growth. Hesse's work helped me realize that even if I try something and it does not work out, that doesn't make me a failure. All I can do is take what I have learned and apply it to the rest of my life. All experiences, whether they result in success or failure, help shape a person. I tend to believe that if you commit yourself to something, then you are committed entirely, but this belief is too rigid for some situations. Siddhartha helped me realize that it is okay to change your path if what you are doing is not fulfilling you as an individual.  
Lastly, Siddhartha helped me realize that contentment is not synonymous with worldly success. In Hesse's work, Siddhartha experiences many different walks of life, including one as a successful merchant, and yet he still was not satisfied. While success can bring happiness, and material things can bring comfort, I have learned contentment is something you must find within yourself. This contentment may come alongside worldly success, but they are not the same. Often people confuse wealth with happiness, especially in society today, and wonder why they are not happy. Siddhartha reinforced my belief that you must be comfortable with yourself to be truly happy. I may not find my version of enlightenment by the side of a river like Siddhartha did, but I know I need to look into myself to do so. This realization has helped me have healthy relationships with others, and has helped me realize that taking time to know yourself is important.  
Siddhartha, by Hermann Hesse, the book that I feel left the most lasting impact on me as an individual. The points that were taught through Siddhartha's journey helped teach and reinforce beliefs that I had not been taught by any other work I have read. It helped me to understand that my worth does not lay in what other people believe or think is best for me, but that I can find my own way in life and still have worth. That you may set out on a journey and not immediately find success, but not to give up. That sometimes what you are looking for is not always what you find, and that what you find may be what will actually give you fulfillment. That success does not always look the same, and that it often takes a different shape than what you expect. That you may lose people along the way but that those who you care about, and that care about you, will be there regardless.