Fearless by Josephine

Fearless by Josephine - December 2019 Scholarship Essay

“For this evening’s audition you will be learning the Hoedown,” Sister Nuttall announced through her minuscule microphone. I heard Hoedown and all that resonated with me was Miley Cyrus’ “Ho-Down Throwdown.” I dug back to my memory of my 10-year-old self knowing that dance perfectly. Sister Nuttall told us to stand with our partner and I quickly realized that I wouldn’t be performing the routine I’d expected. I joined my partner, Dallin, and gently wrapped my left arm around the back of his sharp shoulder blade and clasped my right hand with his left. “Right, one, two, three…” she asserted, expecting us to know what to do.
What did I get myself into?
Ballroom dancing was something my friend Jamie always babbled on about. From leaving events early to go to her practice or missing gatherings on the weekends for competitions, Jamie didn’t go one day without breathing ballroom. Amid a stressful day, I asked Jamie to hang out, and she said she had ballroom tryouts, but that I should come try out with her. I immediately used the “homework” excuse, but Jamie insisted I should go.
“Try out?! For a Mormon ballroom team? I don’t know Jamie... that’s not my thing,” I said doubtfully. Her smile sold me, and the way she ran her fingers through her curly red locks enticed me; it made me feel like I had to go. While I’m typically an adventurous person, this was going to take more than just curiosity. All things considered, I found credence in myself walking into the church with a family I hadn’t met.
“What’s your family name?” She asked.
“Karlovic,” I said weakly.
“Never heard the name, are you a member of the church?” she replied.
I didn’t know what to say. Would I even make the team if I shared my religious beliefs? “No, I’m Catholic,” I muttered nervously.
The choreography was flowing surprisingly smoothly until the instructor said we would be trying various lifts. There is no way my skeleton-framed partner can lift me, I pondered. I felt like an elephant next to Dallin. He loosely held my waist and lifted me with all his might, yet I only got a few inches off the ground. I envied the boys across the room whose athleticism was undeniable as they lifted their partners with ease. I wanted them to lift me, otherwise I was going to get cut along with my skinny partner.
My doubt grew into fear when I noticed Sister Nuttall approaching to evaluate us. To my relief, Alma, an experienced past team member, was eager to assist.
“Do you guys need any help?” he asked. I didn’t want to betray my partner, but I asked him to try the lift with me. Alma gripped my waist and lifted me higher than I had ever been. I could see everyone from above; my head nearly skimming the ceiling. Everyone was struggling to do the lift that I had just perfected. I felt empowered; I felt strong. With an insurgence of confidence, I performed my lift in front of Sister Nuttall and received applause, which led to my admittance onto the team.
If I had disregarded Jamie’s invitation to tryout, I wouldn’t have tried something new, much less rejoiced in it. Going out of my comfort zone allowed me to acquire the confidence to find who I am as a person and helped me reach out to those who lack self-confidence. I find joy in building the morale of those around me who lack self-assurance. I advocate for those who aren’t comfortable in their own skin, and show them that self confidence doesn’t have to be out of their reach. I am not perfect, and one will not find me mastering every skill I try, but I am always willing to try new things and get up when I fail. I am fearless; I am confident.