A Gazelle On the Open Plain by Joel

A Gazelle On the Open Plain by Joel - July 2016 Scholarship Essay

Introverts are often misunderstood. When someone sees an introvert, they see a quiet, aloof individual who appears to be making every effort not to participate in any form of social interaction. He is consumed by shyness and anytime he is addressed the ensuing interaction is awkward and forced. In the classroom, the introvert is often pictured as the student sitting in the back of the classroom, rarely, in fact quite possibly never, willingly participating in any class discussion. Oftentimes, the introvert is heard only when singled out by the teacher, called upon and forced to express a thought or answer a question concerning the topic of the day. At that moment, the introvert’s worst fear is realized. Imagine him sitting in history class, and his classmates, with the teacher moderating, are engrossed in a heated debate over the merits of the Monroe Doctrine. Some argue for, claiming the U.S. has a responsibility over the Western hemisphere. Others say it goes against what George Washington, America’s greatest hero, had envisioned for this country. The teacher paces back and forth, keeping the scope of the debate in focus. Meanwhile, the introvert sinks into his chair, trying to avoid being noticed. Every time the teacher approaches his side of the room, he avoids eye contact and taps his foot nervously. His efforts are futile. He is a gazelle standing on the open plain, and the teacher is a lion stalking his prey, inching closer and closer, savoring his meal. The gazelle’s heart races knowing that the end is near. The lion pounces; “Gazelle, what do you think?” The classroom, raucous only seconds ago, falls into an awkward silence as everyone turns to the Gazelle awaiting his response.
Truth be told, not all introverts go through the rollercoaster of angst and emotions described above. Being an introvert does not necessarily mean that one is shy, or socially awkward, or anti-social, or hermetic. Many are not afraid to speak in public or socialize in large groups. At the end of the day, an introvert might prefer to spend time with himself, or prefer the company of only a few, but social aversions are not part of the introvert package. I’m sure some introverts reading this will relate to what I described above, but it’s mostly my personal experience throughout high school. On top of being introverted, I was also shy and extremely self-conscious. This psychological vulnerability chipped away at my self-confidence; I questioned my intelligence, my likability, my skills, and my potential to succeed at the levels I had set for myself. I quivered like a gazelle taking in its final breaths.
Changing this mentality has surely been a work in progress, but it has its roots in the encouragement from teachers who believed in my potential and have challenged me to keep pushing my academic and intellectual boundaries. One particular professor stands out in this regard. Through a succession of meetings, discussions and conversations, I’ve come to this underlying conclusion: believe in yourself.
As a self-conscious introvert I’ve never discussed my goals or aspirations freely for fear of being exposed to mockery or ridicule. When asked, I would always give open-ended or general responses. I didn’t want to be told that what I was aspiring to do was farfetched or off limits, so I kept it to myself. Someone would ask, “What do you want to do after graduation?” “Well, we’ll see,” I’d respond. I wanted to avoid criticism at all costs. “Have you thought about graduate or law school?” was never a follow-up I expected to my brief answers, but these were the types of responses I’d get from my professor. He’d say it with the confidence that I seemed to lack in myself. The more we conversed the more I realized that what I wanted for myself wasn’t so impossible. I worked hard and I had goals. The missing piece was a strong mentality. My professor laid the foundation for what would be the backbone of true success. He never hesitated to call out my mistakes or setbacks, but he assured me that I possessed the capacity to learn from them. The old adage states that we fall to get back up. What I have learned is that it’s not enough to want to get up; we must have the strength to do it. We must be the gazelles that can live among lions.
Confidence in myself has been one of the greatest lessons I’ve been taught, and it’s a lesson I’d pass on to anyone reading this. We all doubt ourselves from time to time, but we can’t let those thoughts restrict our growth. Setting goals already demonstrates that we possess the strength to carry us through all the ups and downs that lie between us and those goals. As a student, I focused on my shortcomings. I disliked speaking in public, I compared myself to others, and I doubted my ability to achieve the successes I wanted for myself. My professor brought awareness to the fact that, yes, I may have those shortcomings, but I also had the strength to overcome them. So I say to the reader: confront your insecurities and embrace your strengths. Stand in the open field. Be a gazelle.