Victims Matter by Jessica

Victims Matter by Jessica - May 2022 Scholarship Essay

Abuse (verb): To treat a person or animal with cruelty or violence.
Bullying (verb): seek to harm, intimidate, or coerce (someone perceived as vulnerable).
“ My mom said you’re not allowed into our yard, so you won’t be able to play with us.” The kids in my neighborhood say, staring for a second before starting to turn toward the large area of grass aligning with the average-sized red brick structure ahead. I don't respond. Feeling my body weigh down, I trek one house down. I fall to the cool grass, the dew soaking through my jeans, my hands instinctively plucking the thin green strands from the ground. I get lost in my head staring at my friends playing sharks and minnows, a tag-type playground game, just 30 feet from me.
“ What did I do to deserve this?” My tears join the mildew on the grass. “ I know a family member did something inappropriate to my sisters and me when I was far too young to remember, then more recently another did too, I couldn’t stop them, could I have?”
The abuse by family members who I should have been able to trust broke me. However, it was the shame, judgment, and distrust from neighbors and supposed friends, adults, that had to have known I, as a victim, did nothing wrong, that hurt me the most.
Up until last March, after his time spent in prison, this family member lived in a different apartment a few miles from our home. I was not only suffering from the traumatic aftereffects of sexual abuse and negative treatment but living without this family figure in the home as well. Our family suffered from this added financial strain and embarrassment. Friends who were unaware of the situation wondered where this family member was. Families who did know judged my mother harshly for not her kind actions toward this family member. The decisions this family member made controlled my life. As soon as I was out of the setting where everyone knew my back story, there was no way I would let it hold me back anymore. My natural abilities in academics and creating instant friendships began to shine. I changed to a more challenging elementary school, and from there kept to honors, AP, and concurrent enrollment classes- keeping a still standing 4.0 GPA. My inner ambition to include everyone around me quickly became very prevalent in my mind, I didn’t want anyone to feel like I had. No matter their back story. The bullying didn’t stop, though. It then changed to making fun of my haircut in second grade, my braces in third, my horrible acne from 6th-10th grade, and sexual abuse and mocking by a peer in 9-10th. I'm so grateful for the patience, independence, and large capacity for empathy that I gained from my trials. It provided me with an ability to think with kindness, “I wonder what hard trials they’re going through in their life that is making them feel the need to gain attention or act, in this way.”
As I grew throughout Junior High and High School, so did my love for service. I have found that nothing provides a stronger connecting power and happiness than service. Through my over 850 hours of school and community leadership in service, I found that serving can build everyone’s confidence, happiness, and automatic responses to be ones of kindness. As I was able to serve in a leadership capacity for many of my high school’s and community’s projects, I found my passion for helping those who, like me, may suffer from social or economic inequalities. My service has focused on the special needs community, sexual abuse victims, students with academic inabilities, and members of the community who face financial severe financial trials. As soon as I hit the allowed age, I quickly got my CNA license and began working as a CNA in a nursing home.
I strive to make every person I encounter feel valued and validated in their specific situation. I hope to empower the people around me that feel incapable and help them find the confidence to be propelled forward, instead of held back, by the trials in their lives. Creating an environment where the goal of creating a strong relationship with themselves as well as others as a confidence builder, is the norm. Together we can look at our adversities in a new light, making efforts to see how they positively impacted our growth.