Let’s be “Honest” by Jenna

Let’s be “Honest” by Jenna - September 2022 Scholarship Essay

I am writing to you in the future. All I can give you is this one piece of advice in the hope that it reaches you “ be honest with yourself.” To look back at our memories and notice that we listened to others when they said: “honestly is the best policy,” so we learned to be honest with our friends, family, and even our teachers, but what about us? As we have grown, we have continued to shove thoughts, emotions, and memories into a giant chest wrapped with metal chains and padded locks that weaken every time one of our boundaries has been stepped on, whether from us or others, which brings our emotions flooding through cracks of our secret chest. Throughout the past year, I have been attending therapy to unlock that chest we have shoved into the corner, allowing us to help ourselves express our emotions healthily.

There are many reasons, to be honest with yourself while you are younger, and you need to realize that you aren't alone in this world and can ask for help. Throughout middle school, we start to feel too alone as our parents begin to go through a divorce. We feel like nobody understands what's going on at home, so we become angry and start to shut out the people who matter most to us. You aren't alone; your sister and aunt are there to confront you. Don't push your sister out of your life to try in fit in with the other kids that make you feel like a second option, as she is now your best friend. Still, before you know it, she is in a different country across the world. Being honest can open many doors for you that I am struggling to unlock today, be honest when you don't understand something about your boundaries and go to those therapy meetings and feel awkward about opening up.

I know little we can't see to the future, but when I sit with our current therapist over zoom and start to be open and honest about our emotions and the situations we face. I began to realize I wasn't honest with you. I made you feel small and hated us for the longest time for not being what I believed was perfect. But let's be honest you started to work when you turned fourteen and bought your first car before you got your license. You’re working toward getting your bachelor's degree that we didn't think was possible, and we're working on healing ourselves to become a better version. We don't fit into that tiny box your now trying to fit into, but we don't need it.

When this letter reaches you, I want you to take out one of those funky dairies we have and write everything you feel. It is not awkward to write in your diary and no, nobody will read it. But write everything that's bothering you and be honest with your therapist about how you feel. It will be hard, to be honest with yourself, but it will be worth it in the end. When you are honest, you will have boundaries with everyone you meet, and in return, you won't feel bad for saying no. Be honest with how you feel about your emotions, and anger won't be the only emotion you recognize. Once you're honest with yourself it will be easier to make genuine connections. As the famous saying goes “honesty is the best policy” so be honest with yourself.