Self Doubt...No! by Jeanine

Self Doubt...No! by Jeanine - January 2016 Scholarship Essay

As the New Year approaches, many people, including myself, begin to make New Year’s resolutions in preparation for a new and different year. Unfortunately, some of the times, these New Year’s resolutions fall flat. Whether it’s going to the gym every day, or taking up a new hobby, the resolutions do not work out. However, this differs in my New Year’s resolution. I plan on getting rid of my self-doubt. The constant bickering that comes with self-doubt makes me an inadequate student. It affects my grades, my interactions with people, and most importantly, who I am as a person. With the eradication of self doubt, I will gain confidence in myself. This will lead to better test grades and the ability to strive for anything and everything; both components that will make me a better student.
Along with all of the other perks of being a teenager, one of the best ones is self-doubt. There’s worry about your performance on an exam, your college applications, and the biggest one; your success in the future. The question of, “Was I good enough?”, becomes a part of your vocabulary. Each and every one of these hindered my performance as a student. With the constant doubting of my abilities, I began to have panic and anxiety attacks during tests, after sending out applications, and when I sat down to evaluate my future. This led to my grades plummeting as I could not focus. The self-doubt began to consume me. Getting rid of my self-doubt as a New Year’s resolution will help me gain the confidence I need to focus in school. The question, “Was I good enough?”, will no longer be in my vocabulary. Instead, it will be replaced by motivational phrases such as, “You can do this”. My grades will no longer suffer as the panic attacks will cease, and the focusing will begin. I will become a better academic student.
Each of the four years I’ve attended high school, there have been multiple opportunities that students can apply for to further their experiences. However, with self-doubt, you shy yourself away from these opportunities. With the new positive attitude I will acquire from getting rid of my self doubt, I will be able to strive for more of these chances . Instead of being shut out from clubs and activities, I will make an effort to join in each. In fact, I have already applied to take a College Now Trigonometry Class, joined my Cheer Team, and was accepted for an apprenticeship at Queens Council of the Arts. I took the challenge of pushing past my self doubt, and it has highly benefited me as a student. Being a good student isn’t only about academic grades, but it’s how you connect yourself around your school and community. By being connected and active in both surroundings, I will be lead on a journey to becoming a better involved student.
Some people believe that by being a good student solely means getting “good grades”. However, that’s not always the case. It, also, involves being active in your school and community. My New Year’s resolution to get rid of my self-doubt does this for me. I will not be like those who make the resolutions to go to the gym, or to take up a new hobby that are swept under the rug. This resolution will lead me to both better grades, and becoming an active student. Overall, it will lead me to becoming a better student.