The Power of Being Present by Jade

The Power of Being Present by Jade - January 2022 Scholarship Essay

On Christmas Day 2021, I had an intimate conversation with my dad and stepmom about my mental health, the crucial steps I need to take to improve it, and their undeniable support for my wellbeing. This conversation terrified me, and I never thought I would be able to be vulnerable to them.
After some tears and hugs, my stepmom and I discussed my career aspirations; I was adamant about my desire to go to law school to become a lawyer and inevitably a federal judge. While she had no doubt about my success, she was concerned about my skills in becoming a good lawyer. However, instead of discouraging me from continuing my path, she left me with some groundbreaking advice–” Before you can defend anyone, you need to learn to be your own attorney. Be present for yourself.” At the time, I was dismayed by the criticism because I felt like I “had the guts.” However, I thought more about the conversation, and I realized she was correct.
I had the same conversation with my own mother days prior. This may not seem like a huge accomplishment, but my mental health has been a personal concern since I was sixteen; and with my 21st birthday weeks away, I needed to do something about it. I made the decision to be present for myself days prior, however, it took years of suffering. She was right, being present for myself requires immediate action and communication with undeniable confidence, which is something I do not have yet. Two weeks into 2022, I got a therapist, a success coach and I took the time to highlight my good habits and recognize my negative ones. Two weeks of self-improvement does not mean I suddenly developed “the guts” but it is more I have done for myself in years. The greatest skill 2021 taught me was the meaning of being present for myself.
In terms of the past year, I met with the same success coach and recognized habits that I wish to change and took small steps to change them. My academics reflected that improvement after a damaging academic year early 2021. However, in less than one month, I took this one skill from 2021 and it is making my 2022 feel liberating. While there is more improvement to be made, I am striving to be the best lawyer I can be, one step at a time.