Focus on YOU: The Advice of a Lifetime by Jacqueline

Focus on YOU: The Advice of a Lifetime by Jacqueline - July 2025 Scholarship Essay

Throughout my life, I have struggled with fluctuations in self-esteem and insecurity. While my peers perceived me as being confident, I heavily struggled with insecurity during eighth grade and the beginning of my freshman year. During this time, I had so much trouble looking at myself that I would hide my natural appearance through filters. While I was able to appear as confident by posting pictures of myself using these filters, I still hated myself. I hated not just my face, but also my body. I hated looking at myself in the mirror because I was tired of the way I looked. All I wanted to be was someone else. I spent an unnecessary amount of time worrying about other people and their perception of me to the point where it affected my mental health. Almost daily, I thought about what life would be like if I did not let other people's opinions of me take over my ability to see my real self. If I were to give one piece of advice to my past self, I would tell her to focus on herself instead of other people. It would help her concentrate more on bettering herself instead of trying to impress others around her.

While I consistently compared myself to my "prettier" peers I interacted with and walked past, social media directly contributed to my confidence issues. When I first downloaded social media platforms such as Snapchat, Instagram, and TikTok during the COVID-19 pandemic, I became heavily insecure due to sudden and increased usage. I knew that most aspects of social media were fake because of filters and editing, but I still believed that the individuals on the screen were "perfect." All I wanted to be was "perfect" like these girls online, but my parents have always reminded me that there is no such thing as "perfect" because perfection is all about perception. Even with their constant reminders at the time, I still compared myself to some of the girls at my school. While many believe that makeup is needed for a girl to be beautiful, it did not matter to me. I still believed that they were more beautiful than me, whether they wore makeup or had natural beauty, and it made me feel inferior as a result. I wanted to hide, and it was all I wanted to do. I was jealous of the beauty surrounding me in person and on my phone, and I did not want to admit it at first. Comparison is a killer, and it could lead to worse than just wanting to hide for some individuals.

Although my self-confidence improved as I continued in high school, during my junior year, I was struggling with my mental health due to test anxiety. I turned to social media to avoid any stressful tasks and thought it was helping me to relax. Instead, my self confidence diminished greatly with negative body image concerns and me being overly critical of myself. I ended up having to speak with a short-term therapist. Before these sessions, I did not realize that people who have pleasant lives can still struggle with their mental health. These sessions were difficult and draining because I was forced to focus on things I did not want to talk about, including the negative feelings overwhelming me. As I continued my journey for personal growth, I discovered that these feelings were normal.

While I would still tell my past self to focus more on herself, I have still gained insight during my personal growth journey. For instance, I have learned that outside beauty does not define who I truly am as a person, and comparison only leads to misery as time progresses. While I still struggle from time to time with lack of confidence in myself, I found journaling as an alleviating coping mechanism to express these common feelings of self-doubt. While in college, I plan to continue to focus on becoming the ideal version of myself and hope to help peers like me gain confidence in themselves.