My Clock Will Not Stop Me From Swimming by Jaclyn

My Clock Will Not Stop Me From Swimming by Jaclyn - July 2016 Scholarship Essay

Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock goes the clock. Tick tock goes the beat of a heart that holds the future of one individual. It’s a supplier; a reminder. Its pounding reminds ourselves that we are limited. Without this heart we are incapable of strutting through life day-to-day. We are dependent upon it, and we know that this one part of ourselves is essential in making sure we have a future ahead of us. We know that sooner or later, our little pulsing clock will stop, and we have to live with the life we built and the future we chose.
Ms. Grauer understood this. She saw each of her students as untapped potential, and she knew that they needed to cultivate their hearts in order for them to blossom into adults they would be proud of. She understood that life gave you many options, but if you did not listen to your heart and acknowledge the fleeting time given in order to explore these options, then you simply float through life without ever reaching a clear shore.
Ms. Grauer taught me not to be a floater. She said that you must reach ever crevice of the world that you can. You can’t let the mundane overshadow the kaleidoscope that is our world. And even if you have a tragedy thrown at you that wrenches your heart, you cannot let that stop it. She said that you can choose what to do with that heart break, but the most healing option is to let it propel you forward into new opportunities. Turn ash back into something tangible. Nothings stopping you but your own pride.
When I first heard these words I couldn’t believe it. Not because I didn’t think it was true, but because instead of continuing to teach us about George Washington for the hundredth time, she paused, and decided that there’s more to learning than the factual. It takes exploring the world in order to really live in our world. I took that to heart. For the first time a teacher was actually telling me that not everything revolves around what I learn in school. My outside adventures will count for just as much as my hours spent in a desk. She encouraged us to join the Peace Core, to travel the world, take every internship thrown our way, and never ever let an opportunity slip by. I felt every word she said as genuine, especially when she explained that she’s a Boston Marathon survivor. Instead of letting those terrors destroy her, she smiles every day and lets the lessons she learned be lessons she teaches us.
I take those lessons with pride. I try to now think in terms of the real world, not just what is expected of me as a student. I plan on studying abroad in college. I’ll make myself consider every internship I get, and actively pursue them. I’ll fill my life with as much as I can until I don’t even think of my heart as a clock, and instead see each beat as a challenge. I’ve decided that floating is too boring and that swimming towards fulfillment is much more enjoyable.
I know that the constant tick tocking is in my chest, but all I can hear is Ms. Grauer’s voice telling me to not let my clock be the decider.
I may be dependent on my heart, but I will expand every beat into a life worth living.