A Cup of Stars by Jabe

A Cup of Stars by Jabe - July 2025 Scholarship Essay

"Insist on your cup of stars."

I was in the eighth grade when the pandemic closed the school. We were in the middle of a Shirley Jackson unit in English class. My mother may have been more upset that this particular bit of education had been cut short than she was about the pandemic because she hauled me out to the back porch, sat me down, and read the first chapter of Jackson's The Haunting of Hill House aloud. Did I grumble? Yes. Did I sulk? Yes. But secretly, I was hooked. Once we finished, we watched the Netflix series that served as an homage to the source material and we compared and contrasted to the book and parsed out all the different themes.

One line stood out to me from both the book and how it was presented in the show: "Insist on your cup of stars." In the book, a little girl won't drink her cup of milk in a restaurant because she only like to drink out of her cup of stars. Her parents are annoyed. The girl isn't presented as a brat and the heroine, Nell, a fearful woman, hopes that the little girl refuses to drink from the plain glass. She thinks that "once they have trapped you into being like everyone else you will never see your cup of stars again."

The line still stayed with me through high school and it's meaning became clearer. I'm only nineteen, so to ponder what I'd say to my younger self seems insignificant but the great meaning behind Jackson's words continues to work inside me.

There were times in elementary and middle school when I did not stand up for myself out of fear of being bullied, or times that I didn't offer my opinion out of fear of sounding stupid or times when I really wanted to try an activity but was afraid that I'd fail.

I would tell that self to insist on that cup of stars.

Don't settle. Don't be afraid to go ask for what you really want. Don't be afraid to chase your passion. Most importantly, do not hide in the shadows out of fear. The phrase has become my mantra and it's helped me so much already. I decided to attend film school because I love storytelling in all its forms, I've started a website designing business to help offset college costs and most importantly, I'm not afraid to tell people in my life what they mean to me and my relationships with my parents, brother and friends bring so much joy to my life. So, Younger Self, and anyone else out there, insist on that cup of stars. The choice will never fail you.