"Overcomer" by Hope

"Overcomer" by Hope - April 2022 Scholarship Essay

My palms were sweating and my heart was racing. This happened every time I found myself in social situations. Louder than any voice around me was my own voice saying, “You’ll never make it. You’re going to fail.” This was a common occurrence for me. I rarely made it through a sleepover without needing to be picked up. Summer camp was a nightmare. Lost Timber Bible Camp in Chandler, Minnesota was no exception..
Lost Timber is a week-long camp where kids go to have fun and grow in their faith. While at camp, phones aren’t allowed so there is no connection between children and their parents. This is what scared me most because I have always been close with my parents and had never been away from them for more than a couple of days.
I remember being forced to go to Lost Timber the summers after fifth and sixth grade. It was hard for me to make friends because I was too scared to reach out to people. I couldn’t fall asleep at night because of how much I missed my family, and I wouldn’t participate during activities because I was so anxious. Even though I knew the counselors and staff all cared about me and wanted to help me have fun, I would shut them out. I was an island of loneliness. After going for the second time, my parents realized that nothing was changing and decided they wouldn’t force me to go anymore.
For the next couple of years, the thought of returning to camp never even crossed my mind. Until the summer of 2019. My parents asked me if I would be interested in working at camp. We were good friends with the family who runs Lost Timber, and they had four young kids. They offered for me to stay in their house and help babysit for a week. This would make it possible for me to see if I had changed my mind about going to camp, without serving in a traditional staff role. The subtle difference was not lost on me. It still completely freaked me out.
At first, I thought: “No way! There’s no way I’m putting myself in that situation again!” I didn’t know how to deal with change, and I viewed it as a negative thing. After weeks of praying, thinking, and talking it over with my parents, I realized that this was something I needed to do, even if it scared me - which it did. A lot. Regardless of my change in attitude, I was still faced with the overwhelming fact that I was jumping into something I didn’t know much about.
The hardest part was saying goodbye to my parents. I knew that there was no turning back. This was it. As I watched them leave on the long gravel driveway, I quietly shed a few tears and questioned whether or not I had made the right decision.
It was hard at first, but it surprisingly only took a couple of days for me to become comfortable and start making friends. I overcame my fear of meeting new people by introducing myself to a group of girls (who remain good friends of mine to this day). I didn’t know why it took me so long to overcome my fear, but I was glad I did. That week was an absolute blast, and it is the reason I have attended Lost Timber as both a camper and a worker for the past three summers.
Ever since this experience, I have had a lot less anxiety when dealing with new situations. Change is not negative. It can be hard to deal with, but if we can learn to go outside of our comfort zones and think of others before ourselves, it can change our whole perspective. The reality is that change is inevitable. Our relationships, our jobs, where we live, and our interests-just to name a few-are in constant change. It’s the attitude we have towards these changes that determines how we respond to them. Today I find myself in several roles I wouldn’t have thought possible not so many years ago. Because of my change in perspective, I now love leading worship at church and at Lost Timber on a regular basis, I can confidently participate in competitive speech, and I have served as captain of my cross country team. I know this maturity will help me adjust to the big change that is coming with college as well.
Looking back, I’m so glad I responded to this situation the way I did, because now, I can’t imagine where I would be without Lost Timber. Working as a camp counselor is the most fun and rewarding job I’ve ever had. I may not earn a paycheck, but it feels good to give back a portion of what Lost Timber has given to me! I have met people there who have encouraged me in faith and in my everyday life more than I ever thought possible. I have made memories that will last a lifetime, and most importantly, I have received a new outlook on life that helps me to rise instead of fall in the face of adversity.