Broken Crayons Still Color by Hope

Broken Crayons Still Color by Hope - November 2018 Scholarship Essay

My senior quote would be "broken crayons still color." I have lived a tumultuous life. I used to suffer from bipolar disorder, along with depression. I was in an abusive relationship. I contemplated suicide. I was fighting these demons for seven years. I did not think I would make it to my 18th birthday. My abuse was popular at my school. All they did was look at me with pity, and talk about me behind my back, staff included. I hated going to school, but I knew it was the only way out.
Growing up, my family and I never had much money. I have five sisters, so money and food were always tight. My parents had so many problems to face, but they could never get ahead. One step forward, then three steps back. They took their anger out on us. The other was used to it or didn’t care. But for me, it haunted me, left me restless.
I started dating, thinking it would help, and it did, until it became toxic. I was abused and blamed for everything that went wrong. I tried to leave but then I received threats like, “I will take the brakes out your mother’s car”, “I will kill you”, “you are nothing to me.” I had given my life for this. I turned my back on my friends and family, in the name of love. We ended up having a public dispute leading to suspension from school, and that was the only way I got away.
I was suffering from a case of Hero Syndrome, and found myself in another relationship, a few weeks later. It turned out, to be exactly the same. Only this time, my body was exploited for drugs and money. I was not aware that a relationship with them, meant agreeing to these terms. This was a childhood friend, someone I trusted and had known for almost a decade. They bragged about the crimes that their cousins committed, aware it put fear in my heart. I was guilt tripped into staying with them and, it didn’t help that they were suicidal and borderline psychotic, it was truly scary. But I couldn’t say anything, I couldn’t tell anyone.
I met a beautiful soul: Ken. Who empowered me to leave my past behind, and whose love has built me from the ground up. I shine iridescently, due to the state of happiness I embody. I turned 18, graduated, traveled and celebrated it with, Ken. I fell victim to my situation. I fell prey to those who I trusted, but I used that pain to ignite the fire of greatness waiting to burn inside me. I am concurrently a college student, who is celebrated by her professors and significant others, along with the teachers who pushed her to get this far. I did not come this far, to only come this far. I was a beautiful crayon, that became a target. I was picked up and withered down against the will of others, until I snapped. But someone saw, that I was still a beautiful crayon, with much potential, who was capable of great things. Because, broken crayons still color.