The Right to Fail by Heather

The Right to Fail by Heather - July 2016 Scholarship Essay

“Your students reserve the right to fail.” This is the mantra Dr. Leslie Kaplan said to me as I struggled over an unresponsive student, despite my efforts to help her in the course I was assisting for. Dr. Kaplan is the director of the Honors College at the university where I completed my master’s degree. I assisted her with grading and student coaching for the Honors Colloquium course. The course represented the incoming class of honors students, bright and resilient. They had the highest grade point average, well-rounded resumes, and were respectful of their teachers and peers. Success was imminent. At least this is what I thought, all doe-eyed and naïve. Granted most of my sixty-plus students were brilliant, dedicated, and positive, there were a handful throughout the semester that truly struggled. It was these students I found myself focused on – the ones who would not reply to my emails, those who did not take advantage of extra credit opportunities, and the selective few who flaked on the appointments they made to see me in office hours. It was the few, instead of the many, who were taking all of my attention, and they didn’t even want it.
One student from my section was upset about the method of grading for the course, where students were allowed to reattempt any small assignment they failed and they could use notes on their quizzes. While I felt this was quite gracious, she either disagreed or did not fully understand it. Each time I tried to talk with her she became emotional and angry with me, and she dropped from the Honors Program without notice. This was ultimately my first failure teaching at the college level, and while I knew that perhaps the Honors Program was not what she had imagined, I took the blow to heart. So when another student struggled through the first half of the semester to grasp the course concept of critical thinking, empathy, and cultural diversity I took her failures personally. I would watch the way I spoke to her to avoid the same emotion I encountered before, and I asked her to come to my office to discuss her struggles with me. Finally, though, the student admitted that she had only joined the program to be taken more seriously as an art major, and like everyone else, for the scholarships, but, ultimately, I “demanded more from her than she thought was going to be required,” she said. She too dropped from the program.
I knew, having been an over-achiever myself at their age, that these students were all used to making straight A’s; I knew that the B’s and C’s some of them were receiving for their work were discouraging. I also knew, having been in their position just four years before, that the first semester of university life can be a difficult transition. I would send out emails each week to keep the students on track, host extra office hours, and work with students on their assignments whenever they asked. However, in all of my eagerness, naïve joy for teaching, and effort to be relatable to my students, I ultimately forgot exactly what it meant to be a student.
When I approached Dr. Kaplan about my concerns, she gave me the same advice that her adviser gave her during her first semester as a TA (Teaching Assistant)– that despite our hardest efforts to teach our students, they reserve the right to fail. It was not about how much I tried to convince my students to learn, it was about teaching them and allowing them to make the choice of success or failure. Only the student could decide their effort, and as a student I completely understand this sentiment. It is markedly true that students should be challenged and motivated, then allowed to teach themselves the lessons of their consequences. Dr. Kaplan taught me many things about my role as a TA that I will carry through my upcoming time as a Ph.D. student and then one day into my time as a university professor. Most importantly, she taught me that as a student I am in charge of what happens – not my professor, not an exam, not an excuse. I choose my success, or I reserve the right to fail. I am so thankful for Dr. Kaplan’s role in helping me to choose success as both a teacher and a student.