Health and Time by Haven

Health and Time by Haven - December 2022 Scholarship Essay

We don’t truly know how fragile our bodies are until we hit an unexpected bump in the road. Our personal health journey impacts our daily lives. I was recently diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue (CF). Going from playing competitive volleyball, attending every ballgame, family events and destinations with friends, to coming home right after school and laying on the couch was a huge change and detriment to my daily schedule. I literally could not keep eyes open in some classes. It was not for lack of sleep, I get around 9 hours of sleep a night. Even daily tasks became a struggle on extremely tiresome days.

I am extremely thankful that my guardians fought for me with medical doctors. I went from thinking there's something urgently wrong like the “c” word or another scary diagnosis to your just so exhausted and it may be difficult to function. Many doctors said its this simple diagnosis such as fatigue from being an active teenager and they would prescribe various medications to help. None of the doctors in the beginning would take my symptoms together as a whole and think they were all related.

I’ve lost friends and family members that once supported me and believed in me because I can no longer be present like I want to. The exhaustion is overwhelming and I completely shut down. I have to recuse myself to rest and heal. No one understands how I could go from 90 to nothing. I've even been accused of faking my symptoms. Let me describe the tiredness to you: you’ve woken up and the first thought in your head is I can’t wait to get back to bed, your eyes constantly shut and try to cross, your body feels numb and doesn’t want to move, your muscles feel so weak and you must succumb to sleep.

The lesson I am taking with me is to enjoy those who choose to love and support you daily. Be present and soak up your favorite moments of each day. Take time to yourself and rest when you need to rest. It’s ok to say no when your family and friends are begging you to come hangout. Your mental health and well being is more important than keeping up with others. Love those persons who unconditionally love and care for you.

My best recommendation would be to take a technology time out and explore the world around you. The best part of my healing journey has been traveling around my home state in an RV my parents bought. Walking in nature and enjoying the beauty around us is healing in itself. To all of you on your own healing journey, listen to your body, keep seeking the answers and you are not alone in your journey.