The Intentional Gift by Harry

The Intentional Gift by Harry - February 2024 Scholarship Essay

"Don’t start sentences with the word "but". Why?

According to my father, the word “but” isn’t the proper way to begin a sentence. As a five year old I didn’t quite understand this rule, what was wrong with my usage of ‘but’? Just one question to the several irritating grammar rules instituted by my Dad. He’d stop you mid-sentence, and firmly insist on your self rectification. In the brief time it took to correct yourself you felt a loss of passion in your storytelling; excitement turned frustration. As a child, the ability to be intentional is often in the back of your mind, you don’t always process how your actions impact others in a more complex way. I briefly remember when another child ate my lunch in pre-k, unbeknownst to him, I was given the rare opportunity to hand select the items in my lunch, picking only the best and most unhealthy snacks I could find. Imagine my shock and anger as I discovered that he was eating my lunch. I was furious. The teacher proposed that I, in return, eat his lunch, a reasonable request, but she didn’t comprehend what that lunch had meant to me. In retrospect, his intention most likely wasn’t to maliciously hurt me, and to this day I don’t understand why he took my lunch but I know there could’ve been a multitude of reasons. Maybe he mistakenly grabbed my lunch box in a rush to eat, perhaps he thought I had enough and we could share, or what if his family's financial situation didn’t allow him to eat whatever he’d like? His failure to convey his intention reinforced the significance of my fathers teaching of being purposeful. I was able to understand how actions impact others, and how the inability to convey your thoughts could create the same feeling I felt when I saw my peer eat my lunch.

The annoying reiteration of sentences during casual conversation implemented an ability in me in which I didn’t know I possessed, which was being purposeful. My fathers enforcement of intention went beyond grammar but also translated to my actions, thoughts, and mindset.

At a young age I didn’t understand the power that came with your words. Communication has been here since the beginning; helping create the concept of time, form great pyramids, and end costly wars through the mediation of treaties. Similarly, its lack of proper use is the root cause of some of the world's problems. Miseducation is the incorrect communication of thoughts and ideas, resulting in the formation of a flawed perspective. Spawning arguments, discrimination, hate groups, and in time, the separation of people from others.

My fathers constant correction and purposeful usage of words enabled me to be more intentional, empathetic, and knowledgeable. Additionally, it made me a people person. As I matured I became slow to argue and quicker to listen, understanding the reasons for someone's thinking and then conversating. Comprehending the perspective of another gradually quenched the fire that encased me while arguing and replaced it with a cooler element of reasoning. It allowed me to separate the claim from the person, understanding that they are human just like me, and oftentimes possessing the same flame/passion for the subject as I.

The value instilled from my father began what I later learned as a love for communication. Public relations and the publicist field of work absorbed my attention through its elements of intention and specificity, it was a game of choosing your words carefully. Lack of specificity allows your words to be interpreted incorrectly and ultimately the non-fulfillment of tasks at hand. As I intend to enter college as a communications major, I will bring forward the teaching of purpose in my actions and words to encourage others to express themselves in such a way that brings unity to all, through its ability to bring emotions of empathy and understanding.