A Leader Within by Halee

A Leader Within by Halee - May 2024 Scholarship Essay

One day, a three and a half year old kid picked up a t-ball and she never sat it back down. Her parents thought—she won't stick with it, let's just let her try. It wasn’t that they hoped she didn’t enjoy it, they just knew if she did and ended up sticking with it, they would be more broke than they already were. Once she got on that field though, there was nothing that made more sense to her. Her parents were never full-on athletes, so when their four year old was making triple-plays in little league, and her coaches were genuinely impressed, they were full of shock. They let her keep playing and when she got older they could see that little league wasn’t a big enough challenge for her. She needed something more, but something more also meant… more expensive. Bettering their daughters' future meant emptying their pockets every weekend for travel ball tournaments, equipment, and long drives. This was hard on them, they had to work harder to provide the necessities for both their kids and keep her on the field, which in turn meant they had to be harder on her.
In no way was she allowed to be average. Too much money was put into this and she was going to have to step up and be the best, or step down and don’t play at all. She was pressured a lot harder now that she had gotten older and the fees had gotten higher. She was the leader on her first travel ball team for six years before they broke up. During those years though, she was always early to practice and never left until she took extra reps while everyone was leaving. Her parents were her biggest supporters, but they were also the people who got into her head the most. She pushed herself to the limits making sure not a dime was wasted on her.
Being a leader meant being able to follow her teammates (without jealousy) when she needed to. It meant she had to step up if someone else couldn’t perform. It meant she had to be able to take the common hate from a jealous parent or teammate with a smile on her face and still help that teammate when she needed it. It meant she also had to be able to take criticism from both her coach, and her teammates. Just because she was the leader didn’t mean she needed no correction, and she knew that. Being a leader comes with so many responsibilities. To be a good leader she had to be an example, she had to start rallies, be her teammates loudest cheerleaders. But it also meant she couldn’t break down. She had to be strong and she had to hold herself together. Even when she messed up or her parents had gotten in her head, she could not let her team see her break.
That little girl was me. I was pressured by my parents to be the best. I know they did that because they love me and they see my potential. But somewhere down the line I hit teenage years and things got extremely hard. My parents and I never stopped fighting. They never stopped fighting. It was always about bills and how my softball took a lot of money so I had to work harder and make sure I got a scholarship. Long story short, all the pressure and fighting ended up stripping the fun out of it. I didn’t have the energy to practice anymore, I quite literally lost my desire to be great. So my parents made me stop playing altogether because for some reason I didn’t practice anymore at home.
The fighting got way worse after that and since I no longer had softball, I didn’t have my escape. I was exhausted and severely depressed. One night me and my mom got into a fight so big, the police got involved. Fast forward eight months, I am almost seventeen years old and I am not living with my parents anymore. I made the decision to move in with my sister and my mental health has improved so much. I got a job on my own (the second one I acquired that doesn't require me to work under my parents) and I bought my first car. I really started to pick myself up out of the situation I was in. Yes my parents did their best to guide me, and my sister is doing her best. But honestly the leader I would like to recognize is myself. One day I realized that no one can lead me where I don’t want to go. In the end it will always be me who has to make my own decisions and pick myself up off the floor. My parents or my guardian can tell me what I should do and what they want me to do, but in all actuality, we are the only ones who can make our decisions and change our lifestyle. So yes, I would say I’m the person who’s demonstrated leadership in my own life. Both in sports, in school, and in the real world.