Suffering in Silence by grace

Suffering in Silence by grace - May 2022 Scholarship Essay

During my sophomore year of high school, I had the opportunity to mentor children in 7th grade. For the first few weeks, it seemed like a typical tutoring job but it quickly became one of the most crucial times of my life. A girl that I was tutoring began crying halfway through our session which was unlike her. Upon inquiry, she told me how much she dreaded going to school every day and how debilitating her depression was becoming. She seemed frightened to tell me however after a few moments in silence, she defensively said she wouldn’t expect me to understand. Unbeknownst to her, I understood better than anyone what she was experiencing. My life during high school was comprised of endless panic attacks and moments of despair. I kept it all to myself because I thought people would think I was crazy or dramatic. This young girl opening up to me changed my life forever. Up until then, I had suffered in silence but I realized I was not alone. I knew then that I needed to advocate for myself and others in order to end the stigma around mental health. It wasn’t until I started speaking up that I realized just how many of my peers were being affected by this as well. It frustrated me deeply to watch my school continually push the mental needs of their students aside. Once my eyes were opened to just how many people were being harmed by the dismissive acts of the school, I decided to create a mental health club. A safe place for all students to express all of their feelings without fear or judgment. I presented the idea to a teacher along with a paper I had written that outlined the desired purpose and methods of the group. She submitted everything to my headmaster and received a swift and aggressive denial. I was brought in by the dean and spoken to about how inappropriate and dangerous my idea was. It was never to be brought up again. This experience, although disappointing, humbled me. I had thought that because it seemed like common sense to me it was like that for everyone else. For so long, I was infuriated by the teachers who were resistant to my nuanced ideas, but I realized that my arrogance only fueled their distrust. It wasn’t until this happened that my idea became the tolerant and unbiased project I truly desired. I accepted that my school was not ready for this development and decided to focus my energy on creating an independent mental health group. I passed flyers around school and encouraged people to come to a meeting that I was hosting at my house. I figured that only a couple of people would show up but as it came time to start the meeting there were at least 50 people crowded into my dining room. I will forever be proud of everything that transpired during those meetings. It made me realize how passionate I really am about providing a safe space and giving a voice to those who have been silenced. I want to continue this journey throughout the rest of my life. I hope to further my knowledge during college and participate in as many community outreach opportunities as possible. I know without a shadow of a doubt that this is what I want to fight for, all I need are the tools to do so.